The Crown Prince
by Unknownmusic
Summary: Firelord Azulon had been furious at his second son. What right did Ozai have to demand the throne when his own brother had just suffered a loss? He delivered Ozai's punishment, but eavesdropping Azula hadn't liked what she had heard and twisted the truth. What if her lies had never taken root and the true punishment had been carried out as planned?
1. Prologue: Opening

**I do not own anything that would get me sued.**

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**Prologue: Opening**

Zuko laughed as slim fingers found their way around his arms and attacked his sides, rendering him a ticklish mess in the soft spring grass. As he lie on the earth laughing, he could hear his mother's amused chuckles just beside his ears and a content flame sparked in his chest. It was at times like this he thought everything right in the world. The sun blazed fiercely above and the strong branches of the family courtyard tree gently shaded them as the small pond splashed with turtleduck activity. They were happy. Happy and away from the typical protocol that was normally demanded of them. But even Zuko knew that all good things came to an end and such was the case as his sister abruptly appeared behind his mother with a sneer of disdain marring her otherwise immaculate face.

"Wasting time again, Zuzu?"

Zuko suddenly didn't feel like laughing anymore. "Shut up, Azula."

"Zuko!" his mother scolded. "You know better than to speak to your sister that way!"

Azula coolly raised her eyebrows, knowing she had gotten to him again.

"And you, young lady, should know not to provoke your brother."

"But he's just so easy to bait," Azula shrugged. "No wonder father thinks you're completely useless."

Zuko felt a stone plummet in his stomach and he suddenly felt slightly sick.

"Azula! We need to have a talk. Now!"

Zuko's sister obviously wanted to do anything but. But she understood the system, the hierarchy. Her mother had the upper hand…for now.

Before walking away with her daughter, Princess Ursa turned towards her beloved son and said, "Your sister was just teasing you, Zuko. Your father doesn't –"

"Yes," Zuko interrupted. "I know." But he didn't, and that single uncertainty destroyed any hope of a good day. No, it wasn't even an uncertainty anymore. Zuko had seen the disappointment and contempt in his father's eyes too many times to think his sister merely teasing. Deep down, he knew his father despised him but hope of redemption and rising to his father's standards continued to bleed in his soul. In his mind, his father loved him just as his mother did. But he had to be stricter, firmer, in order to ensure Zuko never tarnished the family name and honor. At least, that's what Zuko always told himself. As his father's heir, Zuko had to reach high expectations and that was where he failed.

Zuko felt his throat constrict painfully and he walked away from his mother and his _perfect_ sister. Oh, he knew the rumors, the gossip. He knew how the rest of the nobility and military generals spoke amongst themselves about how his sister excelled at everything she did. He knew how they spoke of her excellent marks in class and how she was such a prodigy with her firebending. A natural, they said. A born princess.

Zuko, on the other hand, was often the object of their laughter and their insults. What was he, compared to his sister? He was no genius, they chuckled. Even their own children would fare better. His studies were poor and he had only created his first flame a mere year before. Eight, they murmured. No child in Sozin's line had ever begun so late. Not even lowly peasants ever found their first spark at such a shameful age. Azula had created her first at four and sped through her studies. Zuko stumbled in everything he did. Almost nothing ever came naturally to him. Pity, they would say, that Azula hadn't been born first. All Prince Ozai had for an heir now was a mess-up.

Zuko wanted, more than anything, to prove them all wrong. But he couldn't no matter how hard he tried. Firebending katas took him days to learn, not minutes like it took Azula. His mind always wandered in tutoring sessions and he constantly cringed when taught where best to permanently strike down an enemy. His mother said it was his greatest virtue. His father said it made him weak. His sister just laughed and soaked up the lessons, enraptured.

At times, his only comfort in the world was his mother. She never turned him away with a clipped refusal or proclaimed him a failure again and again. She would stroke his hair and tell him stories. She would say that, no matter what, she would always love him. Azula teased him for it but Zuko honestly could have cared less. It was the one thing he didn't lose his fiery temper at because he knew that no amount of taunts could ever override his mother's love.

She would always be there for him. She had promised.

Zuko sighed to himself as his mother walked away with his sister and tried to console himself with the idea of Azula's upcoming a scolding. Azula got away with so many things it was almost comforting to see her being punished for once. He watched their disappearing forms for a moment more before turning away and heading into the East Wing of the Inner Palace.

The Royal Palace was situated at the heart of the Fire Nation's largest dormant volcano. It was neatly hidden among a string of other rocky mountains helping to create the many islands that constituted the dragon children's' land. It might have been the largest _volcano, _but other mountaintops devoid of snow or ice were easily taller. One would have to search each island individually in order to discover the capital's true location. Even once found, a plethora of firebenders and weapon masters alike protected the city. It was the most protected region in the entire nation because the Royal Palace was at the core.

The palace itself consisted of four main "rings". The outer ring was where the greatest artists and scholars resided. The third ring was home to the imperial firebenders, second only in skill to the Great Names ("nobles" was what the Earth Kingdom people called them, Zuko had heard), who lived in the second ring, and the royal family. The very inner core of the palace was dedicated to the royal family and the Fire Lord's throne room/war room.

Zuko had spend the majority of his life inside the innermost rings of the palace, but after his seventh birthday two years ago, he had been allowed to venture out into the city – with an extensive entourage of guards protecting him the whole way. Zuko wasn't stupid. He had grown up in the intricate thornwork of imperial politics and, while he had yet to completely understand most of it, he knew that it was a vicious competition to gain influence. He knew that even a child of the Fire Lord's second son was high on the list of potential assassinations. Zuko had grown up knowing this, preparing for any circumstance since his fourth birthday. Yet he couldn't help but wish he had been able to see the city unhindered. He had only been able to see the buildings (small in comparison to his home) and a mass of bowing heads. He had wanted to see the city in its natural state and explore but that had been impossible for him.

The East Wing of the royal family's ring was where Zuko and Azula met and studied with their private tutors. Zuko wasn't scheduled for a lesson for another half hour, but he had little else to do. His mother had insisted he finish his assignments the night before already and he still didn't have enough control of his inner fire in order to practice his firebending freely yet. It had been his greatest shame to create his first spark only at eight and it irritated him to no end that he was still on the basics while his sister was already on the forms.

Zuko huffed and crossed his arms as he fell into one of the soft, feather-stuffed sitting pillows in the "study room". Well, he could practice breathing techniques on his own and now was as good a time as any to do so. He frowned at the boring prospect of the respiratory exercise but closed his eyes and took his first deep breath. He knew how important this would be in the future. He had mastered extinguishing flames and that had been painful to learn. But now he had to learn to not only put out, but to also control his fire so that he would never need to put out his own flames. If he remained in control, his fire would never get out of hand and such restraining techniques of quenching one's flames would be needless.

It took him far longer to get into the rhythm of breathing than it took his sister. She would easily fall into the pattern while he had to sit for a few minutes before he was even able to get his breaths even. Zuko was getting better at it, but when he tried to maintain his breathing rate with candles before him, he still couldn't do even that. It was frustrating.

He had finally gotten into his own inner breathing pattern when quick steps broke his concentration and he opened startled eyes to stare into the eyes of his history tutor.

"Prepared for today's lesson, my lord?"

Zuko knew the mocking in the tutor's tone at the words "my lord" but he didn't comment on it. What could he do about it? His mother would smile and offer him her kindness but she could do little else. His father would scoff and tell him to toughen up. Zuko had learned long ago how to deal with disdain on his own.

At Zuko's nod, his tutor immediately said, "Very well. Now please explain to me how Sozin went about during his first campaign…"

~0~

Zuko came stumbling out of the East Wing four hours later with his head fit to burst. History, numbers, strategy, calligraphy, and politics had been quite a lot to take in. He had taken notes, of course, but he knew that unless he went back and rewrote them now, he would forget the lessons but tomorrow morning. It was a pain in the rear end, really, but he what had to be done had to be done. His sister could walk in and out knowing every little detail with only a single scroll of simple notes to assist her memory.

Again, life wasn't fair.

Zuko meandered down the hallways and eased himself into his bedroom. It was furnished with a large bed at the center with silk ruby sheets and a silk pillow. A canopy encompassed the bed and drapes were neatly tied to the wooden posts, ready to be drawn at the mere pull of a rope. A variety of weapons from his time under Master Piandao's tutelage decorated the majority of the left wall while a wooden desk with several bookshelves surrounding it occupied the right side of the room. A single, large wardrobe adorned the back wall but it only housed his robes. The majority of his clothes were held elsewhere where the servants would choose each outfit daily and dress him every morning. His mother occasionally withheld such services, though, in order to ensure that he knew how to dress himself should the necessary occasion arise. Although why she bothered Zuko didn't know. She never made Azula do such a thing and he knew. Her bedroom was directly adjacent to his and he would have known if she had woken up irritated in the morning, forced to dress herself.

Zuko walked over to his desk and deposited his many scrolls of notes on it. He groaned at the sight and briefly contemplated a quick nap before the sheer amount of work finally convinced him to discard his brief contemplation. If he didn't do it now, he would have to do it later and what if later held something important? No, better to do it now.

Zuko sighed and settled down before unrolling his first scroll and dipping his brush into black ink.

Penmanship and prose had, oddly enough, been one of the few things Zuko had actually picked up quickly. He could easily compose haikus on the spot or write a whole scroll's length of speech and articulation of certain subjects. It would have been impressive had he been a scholar's son or a female. But as it was, Zuko was almost embarrassed to have such aptitude for a subject a young prince shouldn't have in spades. The only bright side to it all was the fact that he could fly through his writing and composing assignments. It gave him a twinge of pride whenever he watched Azula almost struggling with hers.

Two hours later of recopying notes and completing his writing for the day, Zuko strode out to the courtyard where his firebending master waited. He both loved and dreaded these lessons with a passion. Love because he was finally studying his home element, his nation's pride. Dread because he was lacking in talent and often had to deal with being the butt of his master's contempt.

His firebending teacher was an old general who had served before Uncle took over. Azula studied under Father and that sent all sorts of jealousy through Zuko. It stung to watch his _younger_ sibling do so well.

The aging man waiting in the courtyard turned severe, amber eyes Zuko's way as he approached.

"Late again?"

Zuko flinched and silently berated himself for being so lax. He had always been able to feel where the sun was despite his lack of bending before two years prior. Even his father had been slightly astonished to learn that Zuko could already sense the sun's position back when he had babbled it out as a side comment at the age of three. Zuko couldn't remember a time he didn't rise with the sun. Azula had only begun to do so at four after she created her first spark.

"I apologize, Master," Zuko formally said while bowing and forming the Flame with his hands. "I was forgetful."

"No surprise there," the old general sneered. "A _real_ firebender would never have forgotten the sun."

Zuko struggled to keep his blush down. "Forgive me, Master."

"Show me perfect breathing form for once and I will consider it."

So that was a "no". Both of them knew that Zuko was nowhere near perfect with his breathing exercises yet. But Zuko refused to quail in the face of challenge and he promptly settled into a meditating position with his hands upon his knees.

_In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. _Slowly, Zuko reminded himself. He had to breathe slowly else his pattern and inner balance deteriorate. It was difficult for him to maintain a strict hold on the fire that _begged_ to break free of its bonds and envelop everything. It was difficult for him to deny it when he so badly wanted it himself. He loved that fire, just as every firebender loved their own inner flame. At least this didn't hurt though. It had hurt when he had first learned to stifle his flame. This was more of an ache deep within his soul more than anything else.

Zuko felt a rush of elation as his silent control paid off. He suddenly felt his inner fire lock in time with his breath and the flame's desperate urge to escape its bonds slowly ebbed and took comfort in moving with Zuko's now-steady chi flow. Zuko could sense the energy moving slowly throughout his body and the energy settled deep within his bones like a warm bath. He sat in fierce concentration for a few minutes more before a single maple leaf from the tree nearby was placed into his lap. He didn't need the general to tell him what to do next. This was the part of the breathing control he had yet to do successfully.

Zuko gingerly picked p the leaf between two fingers while maintaining his breath. So far so good. It was usually at this transition he fumbled. He got distracted and his chi flow would stutter and flow out of control again.

After making sure the leaf was completely secure, Zuko allowed his flame to spark to life and, ever so slowly, a hole began to burn at the leaf's center.

A wave of relief flowed through Zuko and an excited smile broke out on his face. He was doing it! He was in enough control of his breath and chi to _slowly_ burn the leaf! If he could do this, he would be able to study with Father soon and make him proud and all the imperial residents wouldn't gossip about him anymore and _maybe_ he could finally catch up to his sister and –

Zuko let out a startled yelp as the leaf abruptly burst into flame.

"Keep your concentration!" his firebending teacher snapped. "It will do you no good to pride yourself in something so _trivial_ and lose your head! Most _peasant_ firebenders are capable of doing this by the age of eight!"

This time, Zuko didn't even try to hide his reddening cheeks. He shouldn't have lost his concentration to something as silly as dreams. Because that's what they were: dreams. Nothing more. They were just ethereal clouds of hope slipping from his fingers. His sister didn't have dreams because she didn't need them; she had everything she _could_ dream about. Zuko had dreams. So many. But that was all they would ever be.

It was stupid of him to even think he could catch up to his sister or stop the other imperial families from speaking about him behind his back. His sister was a prodigy. He had seen one of her lessons once, her very first one. She had been brilliant. The breathing forms he had just been working on? She had gotten them down in _one day._ The spark of pride his father had never shown him had blazed like the brightest fire Zuko had ever seen that day.

He never watched another one of Azula's lessons again.

But Zuko wouldn't cry no matter how much he wished to. Not in the middle of the courtyard where his so-called master could see and prying noble eyes could sneakily catch. No. Crying was weakness. It produced water and water was fire's natural enemy. Perhaps when he was alone and in a room…

No. Not even then. Zuko knew better than that. He was old enough to know that. Nobody cried at his age.

Then again, nobody created their first spark at eight either.

Zuko took in a deep, agonizing breath before he tried to get his inner fire back under control.

_I might not be able to have my dreams, but that won't stop me from trying. _

~0~

It was that pleasant time again. His mother had found some time off from her duties assisting Father and Zuko was free for the remainder of the day. He had been fiercely working on his inner control and his other assignments but he could only go so long before his mind began to wander. His mother had teasingly poked her head in his room just a few minutes before to liberate him from the monotony. Zuko had jumped at the chance to escape for a little while and now quietly strolled alongside his mother around the perimeter of the family courtyard.

"How have your classes been, Zuko?" his mother asked with a gentle smile.

That smile always sent a warm happiness through his stomach. It showed that he was loved in this world and appreciated. "They're alright. I'm doing well in prose and calligraphy."

Princess Ursa raised her eyebrows. "And firebending? I can remember the very first day you began your lessons. You were so eager then. You still mention them now, Zuko, but I have been hearing less. Is there something wrong?"

Trust his mother to catch on. "No, Mom." Zuko hesitated the smallest fraction before saying firmly, "I'm doing fine."

Agni, Zuko wanted more than anything for that to be true, but he couldn't just go and whine to his mother anymore. He was nine years old! He could resolve his own problems. He had to. He never wanted to think about it, but if his mother were not here to help him as often as he needed it, who _would_ offer him a hand? The answer was simple: nobody. Zuko knew he would have to handle himself because he had known since he was four that after Uncle Iroh, Lu Ten, and Father, he was the next in line for the throne. Fourth in line. It wasn't as far as it seemed to be, not in a nation where battles to the death were almost common.

His mother frowned, but didn't question her son any further. It made Zuko inwardly sigh with relief. As much as he liked to sound the determined independent, he knew that if his mother had pushed, he would have said something eventually. Spirits, he didn't like to admit it, but his mother could be more intimidating than a dillo-lion on a rampage when she wanted something.

Zuko was irritated when Azula suddenly ran up from playing cartwheels in the courtyard. It was always her to disturb his time with Mother.

"Mom, can Zuko play a game with us? We _are_ brother and sister after all and isn't it important to spend time together?"

Oh, Zuko knew that sickly sweet smile from a mile away. He knew this so called "game" could mean nothing more than trouble. "I'm _not_ playing cartwheels with you and Ty Lee."

"Zuko," his mother frowned. "I think it's a great idea to play with your sister."

"But Mom –"

"Only for a little bit, Zuko," Princess Ursa said with all the might a mother could muster.

Zuko sighed and grumbled to himself as he neatly jumped down from the pathway he had been walking on to follow his sister on the grass. He warily followed a good ten steps behind. After all, who knows what Azula was plotting now? For all he knew, she might "suggest" Ty Lee to practice her chi blocking on him again. It hadn't been so bad until the little smiley, pink girl had actually begun to hit more and more accurately. She was still a long way off from her family's legitimate technique yet, but she could occasionally paralyze him for a few minutes now and leave him with aching chi points for hours on end. He had tried to tell his mother about the "practice sessions" but even she had smiled and told him it was simply Azula's way of "playing". Surely, Mother had said, it was just harmless practice.

Needless to say, Zuko had become rather proficient in the art of dodging and more accustomed to the pain over time.

As Azula led him close to the fountain, he tensed as Ty Lee came skipping over only to relax as Mai sulked closely at her friend's heels. That was good sign. Azula never called Mai over to play when she was planning another "practice session".

Zuko's sister smirked for a brief moment and he knew that she had seen his tension. Of course, she had to gloat in that and the telltale smugness in his shoulders didn't disappear as she sauntered over to the nearby apple tree. She crisply plucked a large fruit from one of the lower branches and placed it upon Mai's head after commanding her to stand a ways off beside the fountain.

"You see the apple, right?" Azula asked. "Well this is how you play: you aim for it and try to hit it just like _this_." She quickly shot a burst of flame from two fingers at the last word and hit the apple's stem with unerring precision.

Zuko spent a brief second boiling over his jealously at his sister's prowess before he realized that the apple was burning _right on Mai's head_.

With a cry, he lunged at the government official's daughter and reached to shove the apple off her head and into the fountain. But he had miscalculated the height and instead of just sweeping the apple off her head, he ran into her and sent the both of them sprawling into the water.

Zuko had to blankly sit there for a moment before he realized that Azula and Ty Lee were laughing at him.

"Told you it would work," his sister snickered.

Anger soared at her words and he furiously shoved himself away from Mai and out of the fountain. What was Azula trying to prove anyway? Sure he had caught the sulky girl glancing at him from a distance several times with a faint blush to her cheeks. That didn't mean anything. He certainly didn't feel anything for her. As far as he was concerned, it was just plain creepy to see her doing stuff like that. It just irritated him to no end that his sister had recently taken a liking to exploiting Mai's reactions. It humiliated him and left him in situations like this one where his clothes were now soaking wet.

Zuko stormed away from the girls and swept past his mother shouting, "Girls are _weird_!"

Indeed, they were. All of the ones he had gotten to know were either acrobatic creeps smiling far more than was healthy, sullen bookworms who took a queer liking to knives, or sisters who were cruel prodigies. The rest of them were just giggling daughters of nobility.

Zuko took a deep breath once he was back inside the palace and slowly exhaled, careful to maintain his inner fire under control as it dried both him and his clothes. He smiled a bit when nothing spontaneously caught on fire and continued his path into the hallways with a more sedate temper.

"Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed today," chuckled an older voice from one of the doorways.

Zuko jumped a bit before grinning in recognition. "Lu Ten!" He scrambled over to his cousin and gave him a squeeze around the middle with his arms. "You're back from the campaign!"

"It wasn't much," his older cousin laughed. "Just a few uprisings here and there around the colonies. This time Father didn't even have to worry about my men and me."

"You mean Uncle Iroh let you lead a campaign all on your own?" Zuko asked with wide eyes. "That's amazing!"

"It's my fifth campaign. I think I should be leading my own men alone now."

Zuko wrinkled his face. "I'm sure Uncle was just worrying a little about you."

"Everybody faces danger when going out on the battlefield," Lu Ten shrugged. "Father should recognize that by now." The older cousin gently unwrapped Zuko's arms and knelt down. "You've grown, haven't you?"

Zuko flushed. "You were only gone for a month. I didn't grow that much."

Lu Ten laughed and ruffled a hand through Zuko's black hair. "Kids your age grow pretty fast, Zuko. Look, I bet you're nearly to my waist now!"

Zuko laughed and teasingly punched his cousin. It was good to have Lu Ten back. He had always loved his cousin's company and when he had started to fight alongside his other countrymen during long periods of time, Zuko often felt as if a piece of the palace was suddenly missing. Lu Ten was like an older brother to him. Whenever he struggled with something, Lu Ten was there to help and he never looked at Zuko with disdain or anger. Lu Ten had been one of the very few in his life to not see him as a failure. Add the fact that he was a talented firebender at odds with Azula and that just made Lu Ten the best cousin ever.

"How have you been?" Lu Ten asked. "I'm sure you've been improving and getting into all kinds of trouble!"

Zuko knew that his cousin had been teasing, but at the mention of "trouble" he couldn't help the abrupt frown.

"What's wrong?"

"I – I still have trouble with my history, Lu Ten. And my firebending…"

It was relief to see that there was no sign of pity in his cousin's eyes. Pity was something Zuko detested and he was grateful to only see sadness in those larger eyes.

"You've been studying, yes?"

"You know I do. I…I just can't seem to get it."

"The history and the firebending?"

Zuko looked down at his feet and mumbled, "Well…okay maybe I need to study a little more on all my subjects but firebending…I was so _excited_."

Understanding suddenly lit Lu Ten's eyes and he began to ruffle Zuko's hair again. "Well you need to study, little cousin. And I can always help you with firebending if you want."

Zuko lit up like the sun. "You would really do that?"

"Haven't I always?"

"Well…it's just that you just came back and you're probably tired and –"

An amused chuckle burst through Lu Ten's lips again and he stood up in one smooth movement. "Well, like I said, the campaign wasn't that difficult. I guess I just need to let loose some of that extra adrenaline I've been penning up."

_Best cousin _ever_._

~0~

"I heard our dearest cousin came back today," Azula smirked form the doorway.

Zuko scowled as he untied his topknot and flopped lazily on to his bed. "Not like you bothered to say hello to him."

"Well how could I have possibly found the chance when you were so busy hogging him all day?"

"Jealous?"

Azula laughed in a condescending manner that sent Zuko's nerves on edge. "Please, I don't need his help. Father already told me that I'm progressing far faster than our cousin ever did. He might be talented, but I'm a _prodigy_, Zuko. I'll catch up to his tea loving kookiness's son before long."

"Then why did you even bother asking about him?" Zuko snarled. He hated it when Azula brought up her obvious genius when he was still so far behind. Even more than that, he hated it when she talked about Lu Ten like this. She had no right. His cousin was a genius too. All of Sozin's line was…except, apparently, for Zuko.

"Come now, we're brother and sister. Surely I can just talk to you before bedtime?"

Yeah right. It was more likely to suddenly discover that somebody had shot down the Moon Spirit. "Shove off, Azula. I'm going to bed."

"You know he only helps you because you're so pathetic."

Zuko grit his teeth but adamantly ignored his sister.

"You can't even control your inner fire yet and it's been, what, a whole _year_ now? You've barely even started on the beginner forms."

He crawled underneath his sheets and turned away from the door.

"All he sees is his poor little cousin just begging for help with his big, innocent eyes. He's helping you because he feels obligated to, not because he actually likes you. Who could possibly like a dum-dum like you?"

Zuko tightened his lips but didn't move.

"Father is always telling me how much better I'm doing. How I'm going to be a great bender some day. He says I should have golden eyes, not you. He thinks the spirits made a mistake when you were born with Great-grandfather Sozin's eyes. Only the _best_ have eyes like that."

Zuko tightened his hands into fists but he refused to react. That was what his sister wanted. That was what she was trying to get him to do.

"I bet even Mom pities you. You think she loves you? Well that's sweet. I bet she only likes you because you're so lost she can't help _but_ treat you like a baby turtleduck – weak and _soft_."

Zuko snapped open his eyes and jolted into a sitting position. "Mom doesn't think that!"

"Really?" There was a smug grin on Azula's face now. "Then why do you think she always shows up to comfort you? Why is she always telling you 'it's alright, Zuko' or 'you'll get better, Zuko'? Anybody who is nice to you is just pitying you."

"At least she pretends to like me," Zuko snarled. "You're not even good enough for her to _pretend_ to like you."

Ah, there it was. The tiniest slip in her mouth. It was only for a split second but Zuko had learned to notice every nuance of his sister's face. Often times, it warned him of an incoming attack more than anything else.

"Who needs Mom's love when I have Father's? You're _nothing_ to him."

That hurt. That really hurt. His father didn't think that. His father loved him. Azula was just being stupid again.

"Shut up, Azula!"

"Or what?" she smirked. "You're going to call _Mom_?"

"Get _out!"_

A wave of flame followed his outburst and he watched, horrified, as it slowly approached his sister. For a terrible second, Zuko actually believed that it would hurt her, that he would hurt his only sister. He couldn't do that. As annoying as she was, she was his family and he couldn't hurt family. His heart clenched for the briefest of moments before time sped up again and the firebending prodigy stifled the flame with a lazy wave of her hand.

"You call that firebending? I've seen better from a _baby_." She smiled, smug, and disappeared from the doorway.

* * *

**I had been watching the episode "Zuko Alone" when I saw the part where Azulon was giving out Ozai's punishment. But we never actually heard the ACTUAL punishment, right? All we did was hear it from Azula's mouth and if there's one thing we all know about her, it's that SHE ALWAYS LIES (unless the truth fits her purposes better). So I'm going to take that into account and spin my own tale XD **

******This is pretty much just an intro of the characters and the display of Zuko's relations with the other characters. I will get the main plot that I mentioned in my summary but that's after I get all of this rolling. Zuko is nine in this chapter so he will get to eleven (when all the action begins) soon enough.**

**PS I didn't edit this for any grammar or spelling so forgive me Xl **


	2. Prologue: The Spirits Hate Me

**I do not own anything that will get me sued. **

**And if you recognize any of this, it most likely came from the episode, "Zuko Alone". Either that, or I got it from the countless ideas I stumbled on reading threads and theories about this series. Or maybe it came from the fanfics Bringing Out the Blue, Embers, or The Shadow of the Dragon King. If it seems like anything is related to those, I honestly didn't mean to use any of it or plagiarize or anything like that. It's probably a mix of all those and my own ideas because, to be honest, it's kind of hard to come up with something somebody hasn't come up with yet :P **

**Just know that whatever I write here is my own making and that I'm making this up as I go with all of those countless other theories and whatnot in my brain :)**

**Oh, and if you hadn't already, you should DEFINITELY go and read the fanfics I mentioned above. They're beyond amazing and I could only hope to write like them someday!**

* * *

**Prologue: The Spirits Hate Me**

Zuko bit his lip and nervously wrung his hands behind his back. He fidgeted on the spot and anxiously glanced up and down the hallway for the umpteenth time to check for any passersby. There wasn't anybody. There hadn't been anybody for at least half and hour now. Zuko sighed and gnawed at his pale lips again before straightening his back and forcing his hands to remain still by his sides. He could do this. He was the son of a Prince. Of course he could do this.

Then again, one didn't just walk in on the Dragon of the West, right?

But Zuko could still remember small snippets of when his Uncle would walk up to him and offer him a small gift from whichever area he had been leading a campaign in. The Firelord's eldest son would smile that cheeky smile of his and laugh his deep-bellied laugh before asking Zuko to a cup of tea. Zuko could never turn his Uncle down. The man was just too happy, too _kind_ to turn down. That, and it would just be cruel to deny his Uncle a chance to enjoy his favorite beverage. Personally, Zuko thought tea just hot leaf juice but he would never say that to the man's face. He could just imagine the look of horrified shock. Zuko knew the Dragon of the West was a force to be reckoned with, but sometimes it was hard to imagine his Uncle the grand general everybody knew him to be. Quite frankly, Zuko had no idea how such a renowned general could have insisted that his own son learn the "beauty of tea" before learning his firebending forms. Lu Ten could rattle off over thirty kinds of tealeaves and at least eight ways to brew a cup by the time he was six, Zuko had heard.

As strange as it sounded, Zuko really did enjoy his Uncle's company despite his quirks and the rare moments that the general would offer his tutelage usually left Zuko in a giddy frenzy of happiness. Zuko loved and respected his father, but he also loved his Uncle. His uncle was like his Lu Ten in that he never mentioned Zuko's lack of skill outright and was always patient in the way he taught. Sometimes the riddles the man came up with left Zuko with a gigantic headache, but he would take that any day in exchange for firebending lessons.

He knew Uncle cared for him. He saw it in the way the man would always bring him gifts from his campaigns and the way the man would speak to him just for the sake of speaking. So why was he so nervous now? Why was he so nervous to speak to his Uncle now?

Zuko took a deep breath and knocked thrice upon the gold-adorned door in front him before his courage could desert him again.

"Enter," came that amiable voice from the other side of the threshold. Zuko had no doubt that Uncle already knew it was his him. Talented firebenders could sense others of the flame. Prodigious firebenders could identify the individual flames and place a name to each.

Zuko tentatively opened the doors and slowly closed them behind him again once he was inside. He had to refrain from biting his lips again and searched the large room before spotting his Uncle sitting at a low table at the center of the room, the Crown Prince's room. All of the royal family's rooms were large but the Crown Prince's room was second only to the Firelord's own. It was definitely larger and positioned at the very core of the Inner Palace. It was well protected and Zuko had a sneaking suspicion that a secret escape door was hidden somewhere in the room for emergencies.

"Come sit with me, Zuko," smiled Uncle. "No need to stand there as stiff as an Earth Kingdom ostrich-horse."

Zuko took another breath as he maneuvered himself into a position directly across the table from his Uncle and bowed with his palms and forehead to the floor.

"Forgive my impudence, Uncle. I apologize for my intrusion into your private quarters and for my interruption of your rest. I had a pressing concern and thought it prudent to address such concerns with you."

Uncle sighed from across the table. "Zuko, you know you don't need to do this me. How many time have I told you that such formalities are not needed between family members?" Zuko could almost hear the smile sneaking across his uncle's face. "Besides, such formal speech doesn't suit you. If I recall correctly, you weren't so shy of voicing yourself before…"

Zuko almost groaned aloud. When Zuko had been young, he had seen his uncle leave for a campaign for the first time and thought his uncle leaving forever. Even at such a young age, Zuko had known better than to speak aloud, but he had shouted in dismay and demanded his uncle to stay in front of the entire entourage that had arrived to see their Crown Prince and general off to war. Zuko had been reprimanded severely, of course, but Uncle had laughed the entire debacle off and brought the incident up whenever he could.

Zuko straightened up from his position and nervously fixed his eyes on his uncle's teacup. "Uncle…I have a question."

The general's humor melted into a mood of concern and he quietly placed a small, steaming cup of tea in front of Zuko. Trust in Uncle to have an extra cup of tea ready. "What is bothering you, Nephew?"

Zuko stared at the table. "You are…leaving for Ba Sing Se tomorrow."

Uncle nodded. "That is common knowledge, Zuko. Everybody has known of the invasion plans for months now."

Zuko nodded and fingered his cup before taking a deep swallow. He steeled himself as the tea scalded his tongue and asked, "Is it true that Lu Ten is going with you?"

Understand immediately flooded Uncle's eyes and a sad smile graced his lips. "Ah…Zuko. Your kind heart knows no bounds and I hope that you always keep such a beautiful thing alive within you."

Heat flooded Zuko's cheeks and he ducked his head in embarrassment. "Uncle, I don't think Lu Ten should go. You're going to try to take down the most powerfully protected city in the Earth Kingdom and – and I'm worried."

Uncle sighed and put down his cup of tea. "Believe me, nephew, I am worried too. It might not seem like it, but it _is_ difficult to send my own son into a war that could easily get him killed."

Zuko tensed. "But Lu Ten is good out there, right? He wouldn't get himself killed."

"That is not something for us to decide," Uncle sadly said. "Life and death…they are not escapable even by the most talented benders. Not even the Avatar himself could avoid it."

That wasn't necessarily reassuring and Zuko voiced his thoughts.

His uncle only sighed again and stared at the tea for a few moments before saying, "Zuko, you should know that if it were my decision, I would not be allowing my son into this battle either. I, too, think it dangerous and I can't help but wish he were as young as you to evade the duty of serving one's country."

Zuko flushed. "Uncle, I'm not so sure you would want Lu Ten to be like me…"

"And why not?" his uncle asked. "You are a good person, Zuko. That is, perhaps, the most important thing."

Uncle was just saying that. Who would ever believe that being a "good person" was important? Azula wasn't and everybody loved _her_.

"But surely you could put in a word…tell them that maybe Lu Ten could stay…"

"I want to," his uncle repeated. "I want to. But sometimes one cannot just say such things."

That was confusing. Why not? Uncle Iroh was the Crown Prince! People would listen, wouldn't they?

"But Uncle –"

Three knocks on the door stopped Zuko in midsentence.

"Father?" asked a muffled voice from the outside. "Are you busy?"

Zuko stiffened. It was Lu Ten. He didn't want his cousin thinking he was talking to Uncle behind his back. He owed his cousin so much. Guilt wormed its way into his stomach and he cast a desperate, pleading look towards his uncle's direction.

Uncle (oh wonderful Uncle) smiled a little and winked as he called out, "Come in, Lu Ten."

Zuko tried to look as natural as possible, as if he were just having another tea meeting. Knowing himself, Zuko figured that he probably looked even more suspicious than before. Self-consciousness bled through his very skin yet when his cousin stepped in, nothing indicated that Lu Ten suspected anything.

"I was packing your teapot again," Lu Ten grinned. He was dressed casually, in training clothes. "When I realized that it wouldn't fit with all everything else we have to bring to the siege."

Zuko almost laughed as a look of complete horror attacked Uncle's face.

"Are you saying you didn't put the teapot in _first_? How could my own son claim that other things are far more important?"

"Well, things like armor and-"

Zuko actually had to raise a hand to stifle his laughter as the blood drained from his uncle's countenance.

"Lu Ten!"

"Don't worry, Dad," Zuko's cousin smiled. "I was just kidding. The teapot did go in first. I was just wondering if you wanted to bring along our robes. I don't think we'll be needing it, seeing as we scarcely bathe out there, but I just wanted to make sure."

This time, Zuko did laugh aloud with Lu Ten laughing with him.

And for just a brief moment, he forgot that his uncle and cousin were heading off to war.

~0~

It had been nearly a year since Uncle and Lu Ten had left with the rest of the army to take down Ba Sing Se. It had been the longest Zuko had ever gone without seeing their faces and the first time in his life that neither of them had been there for his birthday. His mother had sensed the absence and had taken him and Azula to a festival to celebrate. It would have been an amazing birthday present had his sister not been there. She had a knack for destroying happiness. Literally. If he thought his sister had been bad before, she was complete horror now. She was progressing ever faster in her studies and Zuko…Zuko was going just as slowly as he had been his entire life. He had finally mastered his breathing exercises and, miraculously, his basic forms. It had been the fastest he'd ever progressed but it was still far slower than any member of the Royal Family should be.

But Zuko's lack of skill was no longer the gossip of the noble courts. It still cropped up here and there but events over in the Earth Kingdom were what captured attention now. Zuko almost always heard about the situation in Ba Sing Se from another's mouth before he did from any of his uncle's letters. The interest in the siege was almost tangible and the prospect of finally winning the war made everybody walk on edge. If they won this, they would have it all.

But Zuko could have cared less. Yes, he worried about his nation's people, about all those dying. But such things were still beyond his grasp to completely comprehend and, for now, what he worried about most was the return of his relatives. Zuko prayed to Agni every morning for their safe return. Really, it was still a little abstract to think that they would die. It was just too surreal, too impossible. His Uncle was the Dragon of the West. His cousin was the youngest leading Commander in the army. What were the chances of their dying?

Zuko didn't like to think about it. His studies were keeping him busy enough but he often had to distract himself before falling asleep every night.

Azula, on the other hand, didn't seem to have such problems.

"They should have taken Ba Sing Se by now," Azula had mused. "It can't possibly be _that_ difficult to defeat an inferior kingdom."

"Uncle's trying his hardest and you know that," Zuko had muttered resentfully back. "It's not like you could do any better."

"Oh I don't _think_ I could," she had smirked. "I _know_ I could."

Yes, Azula was definitely not losing any sleep.

Zuko sighed at the memory as he nervously adjusted his clothing, just as he had done a year ago in front of Uncle's door.

Except this time, he wasn't going to face his Uncle.

This time, he was going to face his father.

Prince Ozai had been eating his supper in silence with his family, just like any other supper, when he had abruptly spoken, proclaiming that tomorrow he would be personally checking on his children's bending progress. Zuko had been so startled that he almost dropped his rice bowl and chopsticks. Azula had only paused for the briefest of seconds before allowing a smug smirk to curve her perfect lips upwards in a mocking taunt in Zuko's direction.

Because really, there was no way this could end well for him.

Father had been teaching Azula for years. He already knew how she was doing. Why was he testing _both _of them now? Why suddenly decide to check on his son? Zuko was blissfully happy, of course. He hadn't actually spent any time with his father in a long time but that happiness was tinged with anxiety and that hadn't been a very good combination for a good night's sleep. Zuko hadn't slept more than five minutes and now that he was about to face Father, he was starting to feel a sleepless night's toll.

_Breathe_. Zuko allowed his meditation to take over and easily slipped into the rhythm of _in and out_. As difficult as it had been to master, it Zuko could now effortlessly slip into the pattern now and he found that its calming qualities were startlingly useful. His father would understand. His father wasn't a cruel man. Surely his father understood that everything Zuko had mastered so far were huge steps? Surely?

A sick voice in the back of his head said that it was just as likely to see his firebending teacher bow down to him. And that chance was close to null.

Spirits, was he really listening to his own _inner voice_ now? Zuko shook his head to get rid of any morbid thoughts. No, this would go smoothly no matter what.

Zuko stepped out into the practicing courtyard where his father and sister were already waiting. He wasn't worried about their presence though, he knew he wasn't late. He had made sure to keep track of the sun's position this time.

Zuko bowed at his waist in respect, his hands forming the Flame. "Father."

There was silence for a moment before his father replied, "Zuko."

Zuko uneasily straightened and seated himself right beside his sister on the warm grass. As much as it bothered him, he knew that Azula had done this countless times already and probably knew what to do in such lessons with his father.

"Zuko, why have you seated yourself?"

He tensed at his father's words and a hint of panic fluttered in his chest. He had done exactly what he had seen Azula doing. Surely he had done the right thing? Zuko desperately searched his mind before his eyes widened and he had to resist glaring at his sister. Of course. She knew he would follow her, copy her in order to please Father. That was why she was sitting. It was protocol to ask one's father for permission to sit first. Normally, his firebending teacher said nothing about what Zuko should or shouldn't do outside of his firebending and having gone so long without his father's tutelage, he had completely forgotten to seek permission first. Azula, no doubt, had to ask as well but she had ensured to come early and ask before Zuko could see and learn.

Right now, Zuko was willing to give a lot to smack that smug smirk off his sister's face.

Instead, he hastily stood up and bowed deeply at his waist again. "I apologize, Father. Please forgive me for my forgetfulness."

"I have heard of your lapses in memory from many of your tutors, Zuko. I would have thought that you would learn by now."

Zuko had to fight to keep himself from flinching. He wanted to shrink and disappear altogether, away from his father's burning disapproval. He had almost forgotten how much it hurt to stand under his father's scrutiny. He had been so overlooked in favor of Azula for so long that it almost stung to be back under such a fierce gaze. Now he remembered and despite his hunger approval, he suddenly wanted to be anywhere else in the world but here.

And it had been less than five minutes.

"Sit, Zuko. Azula will go first."

Zuko let out a breath as he settled back on to the grass and sat with all of the posture of a member of the royal family could muster. He couldn't look lax now, not after his early slip.

He needn't have bothered. The minute Azula had stepped up and taken her stance, his father had all eyes for her and Zuko could have been rolling around in the dirt for all the Fire Nation's second Prince could have cared.

Zuko watched as his sister began at the basic forms and he couldn't stop himself from marveling at her perfection. She just made it look so _easy_ and every single movement; every twitch of the muscle was precise. It was elegant, smooth, and deadly – just as it meant to be. And these were just the basics. Zuko almost flushed as he thought about himself. He made these movements look clumsy. It shamed him to think that he was butchering such a beautiful form of art. That's what firebending was and although Zuko would never word it that way, he certainly thought it. As much as he loathed his sister sometimes, he had to respect her for her genius. It hurt to admit that he had to aspire to her level.

Soon, she was out of the basic forms and on to the multiple tiers that followed. Each movement was gradually speeding up, gradually gaining in complexity until Zuko was almost hard pressed to recognize any of it. Sure, he had seen Lu Ten practice the same moves before, but something about the way Azula went about it made it seem to be on a completely different level. Everything was perfect. Nothing was out of place.

She wasn't even sweating.

Agni, she really was the prodigy every Fire Nation family would die to have.

And he was supposed to compete with this? There was no way. Despair clouded Zuko's mind and he hardly heard his father's praise as Azula came to a close. He wanted that. He dreamt of that. That perfect form, that ability to awe others without even trying. But dreams weren't his, Zuko reminded himself. Dreams were for his own amusement. Dreams were the fuel to his motivations. Dreams kept Zuko going. He knew that. So how many times did he have to remind himself that dreams were just dreams for him?

"Zuko!"

Zuko actually flinched out of his thoughts at the harsh command and he realized that he had messed up again. His father had been calling him and he had been so lost in his despair that it had soared right over his head.

He automatically stood up and ignored the smirk that Azula directed at him as she sat down to watch his demonstration.

"Good luck, dum-dum…you're going to need it," she breathed into his ear, unnoticed by Father.

Zuko shivered at the truth of those words.

He took up the beginning stance and tried to regulate his breathing. His entire demonstration would be hopeless without proper breathing. That was why he had to master it first.

"You may begin, Zuko," his father said.

Zuko took a deep breath and tried to fall into the pattern again only to find his hands trembling and no calming effect in sight. _Breath again_. He took another deep breath except this time it made it even worse. Agitation, the complete opposite of what he had been aiming for, breathed to life in his chest and his inner flame flared dangerously. He had to get himself under control. He had to! This was his first demonstration to his _father_. He couldn't disappoint now…not after Azula had done so spectacularly. It had been so easy. Why was it suddenly so difficult to breathe properly? He couldn't manage to fall into the rhythm that he had so easily utilized a few minutes ago. What was wrong with him?

"You may begin, Zuko," father repeated again with a hint of impatience.

_Focus. You've done this. You've done this. You can do this._

He took a deep breath but it only went in halfway, the rest of his throat choked off in panic.

"Zuko, I thought I told you to begin." There was a hard edge to his father's voice now. A dangerous edge that meant he was about to get angry and it was never a good thing to get father angry.

_Take a breath. I've done this a thousand times before. Just take a breath. Calm yourself. _

But he couldn't. For all his training, he might as well have just created his first spark yesterday. He couldn't gain a grip on his control. He couldn't. He tried again and again. He even attempted to count backwards to calm himself. He tried imagining himself somewhere else only to find that his imagination dragged him right back to the courtyard and his irritated father.

Zuko could literally feel his father's anger by now and he so panicked, so taut, that he completely lost control as his father bellowed, "Begin!"

Fire roared to life in around his hands and the panic overwhelmed him. The tiny part of his mind that remembered his forms tried to salvage the situation but his clumsy attempts only urged the flames higher and Zuko fell back with a shout.

Suddenly, the flames disappeared as quickly as they had come and Zuko found himself staring at his sister's smirk yet again.

"Very good, Azula," Father smiled. "You are a good sister, saving your brother when he didn't deserve it."

_Didn't deserve it?_ Those words cut like knives, worse than knives. Zuko could know. He had his fair share of such cuts back during his days under Master Piandao's tutelage. Did his father really…? No. Of course his father was right. He didn't deserve to be protected from his own flame. He hadn't been able to control himself. He hadn't even been able to breathe properly. Of course he didn't deserve it. Zuko bowed his head in shame.

"You, on the other hand," his father said in condemnation, "are not even worthy to be blessed with the flame. What child your age cannot even control their inner fire? I expected more from you, Zuko. Perhaps you should learn from your sister and dedicate yourself more."

Zuko's eyes stung and he fiercely struggled to keep in the tears. Spirits, he was such a _baby_. No ten-year-old _cried_ at this age. He bit the inside of his mouth hard and the taste of copper drew him out of his stupor enough to shakily stand and offer a bow of respect to his father.

"Forgive me, Father. I have failed you."

But he had already turned away, Zuko's words mere sound in the wind.

Why would Father bother listen to a failure's words when he could be teaching a prodigy?

~0~

Zuko did poorly in the rest of his studies that day. He was too distracted to do something like focus. Everything went in one ear and out the other. He could only stare at his tutors as their mouths moved with no sound and the lines of prose he normally breezed through muddled into meaningless scribbles of ink. He could only think of his father and the disappointment that had etched itself into Zuko's brain.

_I expected more form you, Zuko._

His history tutor had only gotten ten minutes into the lesson before he had been forced to declare Zuko unfit for teaching for the remainder of the day. No amount of Zuko's desperate pleads could convince the old man to stay.

"I know when I'm talking to the furniture in the room," his tutor had snapped.

Perfect. Now not only did he completely fail his demonstration, but word of his subsequent failure would also reach his father's ears. His father was right. Agni, maybe even Azula was right.

…_saving your brother when he didn't deserve it._

Zuko sat alone in the East Wing and was humiliated to hear a small whimper escape his lips. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He was such a dum-dum! Spirits, today was _terrible_.

Zuko abruptly felt the need to move, to get away from it all. He jolted to his feet and blindly stormed back to his quarters as his vision blurred. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to cry. He _wasn't_.

His room was cool and shaded from the day's heat, a sanctuary. Zuko locked the door behind him as he scrambled inside and leaned against it as he soaked in the bliss of escape. He was quiet and still for a few moments before the coldness in his chest seeped into the rest of his body. A sick pit in his stomach overwhelmed him and a sudden weakness forced another whimper through his lips. His legs just ceased to be capable of holding his weight up and he fell to his knees, slumped against the door.

Zuko heard a sob and he clenched his fists as he realized that the offending sign of weakness had come from his own mouth. He couldn't control his own body, forget inner fire. He couldn't control anything. Not his firebending. Not his body. And most definitely not his own, _stupid_ life. Why was he so pathetic? Why…after so many hours of practicing! He had spent far more time out in the courtyard trying to master his skills than his sister did yet today had been her day to shine. She would leisurely watch from the shadows as he struggled with his forms. He would resent her apparent ease but dealt with it because he believed that, if he worked hard enough, he could catch up and maybe pass her.

Obviously, he was just delusional.

Zuko sobbed aloud again and this time he actually felt something slip down his cheeks and splash against hand.

He so desperately wanted somebody to tell him that he was worth it, that it wasn't impossible. He wanted somebody to tell him that everything wasn't for naught and that it would all pay off. But Zuko knew better. His mother was kind in her way and he would be lying if he said he didn't want her comfort now. Yet at the same time, he viciously didn't want her here. If she showed up, all kind smiles and warm hugs, it would just mean that he was too weak to deal with his own weakness alone.

Zuko felt another splash and he bit his lips to keep from any more sounds from escaping.

Spirits, why couldn't Lu Ten be here? Maybe even Uncle's crazy laughter would work right now. But…no. Just no. He couldn't wish for that, either. That was still weakness. He couldn't wish for _anybody_ to help him. He was just…_weak_.

Zuko couldn't keep the soft keen of despair down in his throat. His vision was blurred and he buried his head in his hands as his frame shook against the door.

He just tried so _hard_. Why did nothing work out his way? Did the spirits hate him? Was his destiny to live forever the disappointment?

Zuko grit his teeth at the thought and a brief burst angry of flame surrounded him before he brutally stifled it down. No. He couldn't live like that. He _wouldn't_. He had worked for this. It _would_ pay off. It had to. The world wasn't that cruel. It just couldn't be. He would fight through this like he had always been since the day he had been born. And someday, everybody would realize that they had been wrong to gossip about his ability.

He had to believe that. If he didn't, what did he have to live for?

Zuko knew it would happen. He knew it would. He knew he would make his father proud eventually. He just had to work even harder from now on. It would all be okay.

So why did it still hurt so much?

~0~

"Your Uncle sent a letter," Zuko's mother smiled.

A grin split across his face while a slight huff of impatience escaped Azula's lips.

"It's been a while," Zuko smiled, eager.

"Oh, please," his sister scoffed. "It's been only three weeks since his last letter."

"Nearly a whole month!"

"So what? The little dum-dum can't survive without a little letter from his big, crazy uncle?"

Zuko shot her a glare. The morning's failed demonstration still stung even after he had finally stopped sobbing to himself.

"Azula," Princess Ursa frowned.

"Sorry, Mother," his sister replied sweetly, a fake note of remorse in her tone.

His mother only sighed before she unrolled the scroll that a messenger had given to her. She recited, "My dear Brother, Sister-in-law, Nephew, and Niece, the Wall is truly something to behold. We have been putting all of our attacks against it but it still stands. If the city is as magnificent as its wall, Ba Sing Se must be something to behold. I hope you might be able to see it someday…if I don't burn it to the ground first!"

Zuko laughed and, to his surprise, Azula did too. He could almost hear his uncle's hearty laughter after the last sentence, but he wondered if his sister really understood that it had been written in good humor. Either that, or she just reveled in the thought of oncoming destruction.

"For Zuko, I give a dagger that once belonged to the general who surrendered when I broke through the Outer Wall. Note the superior craftsmanship and heed the inscription, for it is something all should remember."

Zuko eagerly reached out for the gift from a waiting messenger and cradled the weapon in his hands. It was beautiful in its deadly grace and its black sheath glittered in the falling sunlight just outside the room. There were two pure gold protrusions on both sides of it where the sheath slid open and it felt light, a perfect balance in Zuko's hand.

"For Azula, I give an Earth Kingdom doll. She wears the latest fashion that the noble daughters wear to formal occasions."

Zuko almost laughed in his sister's face as she was handed a simple doll dressed in green and hair placed in a strange head-encompassing bun. Azula stuck her tongue out in disgust but an amused smile overcame her features as she turned.

"Hey, if Uncle doesn't return home, wouldn't that make Dad the next Firelord?"

"Young lady! We do _not_ speak like that," his mother said in horror.

"Yeah, Azula," Zuko snapped furiously. What was his sister doing, saying things like Uncle dying? That was stupid! "How could you like it if Lu Ten wanted Dad to die!"

She shrugged, ever the disinterested perfectionist. "Dad would make a much better Fire Lord than his royal tea-loving kookiness."

A sense of sick dread settled itself into Zuko's stomach for the umpteenth time that day. Did his sister really mean that? Why did she say such a thing and sound so…confident about it? Uncle dying could never happen. And, for that matter, neither could Lu Ten's dying. They just couldn't die. They couldn't.

Zuko shivered and watched with a strange sense of foreboding as his sister burned the doll in her hands.

Later that night, when he was alone again in his room, Zuko unsheathed his new pearl-handled dagger and quietly read to himself, "Never give up without a fight."

He smiled softly and figured that if that wasn't a sign of encouragement from the spirits, he didn't know what was.

~0~

Zuko should have known that the spirits hadn't meant anything close to encouragement from the new dagger. He should have known. If the spirits really favored him so, would he have been born such a failure? If the spirits really favored him, would the messenger have solemnly come to his mother with that damning scroll almost a year later after his uncle's letter?

Of course not. The spirits just hated him.

Zuko couldn't remember a time when he had felt worse. He couldn't remember such emptiness, such grief even after his first failed demonstration. He was eleven now, but this time, he hadn't been ashamed to cry. To him, the whole _world_ should have been crying after such a great loss.

Just that afternoon, his mother had turned to him, tears streaking down her face, and said, with the smallest of tremors in her voice, "Your cousin, Lu Ten…did not survive the battle."

* * *

**Alright, first things, first...the actual deviation from the canon plot line will start next chapter :) These first two were just sort of...warm-ups? Like chapters to get the characters out there and their personalities known as well as their relationships and whatnot. **

**I'm kind of sad to see Lu Ten die...he was so nice in my imagination :(**

**And the whole dagger saying "never give up without a fight" just happened to work beautifully lol. I didn't actually plan for that to happen but hey, if it works, it works XD**

**And Zuko...yeah I made him pretty average here because that's just him, right? I'm sure he was talented in canon, but that didn't really show in such a degrading environment. That, and it's sort of essential to his development that he struggle through everything. It's just Zuko. He wouldn't be Zuko without a bunch of angsty and low self-esteem issues. (Although this doesn't mean that I'm going to make his lack of talent prolonged in my fic. He's gonna get better real fast :P)**

**And I forgot to mention this before, but some of the canon scenes (like the whole Zuko falling into the fountain with Mai thing) did happen when he was younger but it just seemed to suit the story better. Thank you to Kimberly T for pointing that out :)**

**I'm not good with emotional scenes. So if the whole Zuko sobbing to himself just seemed pathetic and blotchy and disjunct...well it's one of those things I'm working on. **

**And yes, there were a lot of time skips in this one :0 I know, I hate them too but the story isn't one focused on Zuko's childhood. I had to actually get to the MAIN plot lol. **

**And thanks to all my reviewers! You guys encourage me to continue :)**

**PS Not edited again...sorry if it was choppy writing Xl**


	3. Part 1: Ozai's Request

**I do not own anything that would get me sued.**

* * *

**Part 1: Ozai's Request**

"You waste all your time playing with knives," Azula sneered from a chair in the family courtroom as she watched her brother brandish his pearl-handed knife. "You're not even good."

"Put an apple on your head and we'll find out how good I am!" Zuko snapped back, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. He knew she was right. He had never learned how to properly use knives as weapons on their own with Master Piandao and for the last three days since learning of Lu Ten's death, he had spent all of his free time fingering the weapon and attempting to practice with it. Zuko had always loved the gift. Something about it, especially the phrasing inscribed into the blade, always reminded him of his cousin. Lu Ten had always encouraged him and, for that matter, so had Uncle. It seemed to comfort him in place of his relatives.

But he had never actually taken the knife out to practice with. The most he had ever done with it prior to the last three days was unsheathe it in the safety of his quarters and finger it before falling asleep. Now that Lu Ten was gone, Zuko had felt a strange need to bring the knife out, to carry it with him wherever he went. Something within him feared that it would disappear just like his cousin had.

"By the way, Uncle is coming home," Azula smiled, jumping down from her perch. Zuko backed away a little, wary of the dangerous edge to her amused expression.

Zuko eyed her and slowly said, "Does that mean…we won the war?"

"No. It means Uncle is a quitter _and_ a loser."

"What are you talking about?" Zuko spat. He glared at Azula's back as she meandered further into the room. "Uncle's _not_ a quitter."

"Oh yes he is," Azula retorted in derision. She swung an arm around one of the large pillars holding up the building. "He found out his son died and he just fell apart. A _real_ general would stay and burn Ba Sing Se to the ground." She let go of the pillar and crossed her arms with a smirk. "A _real_ general wouldn't lose the battle and come home _crying_."

"How do you know what he should do?" Azula had no right to be saying things like this. _She_ wasn't out there fighting barbarian earthbenders and leading a whole army of men. She wasn't the one who had lost her child. She didn't know what it was like. She hadn't even batted an eyelash when Mother had announced Lu Ten's death. Zuko's anger slipped into nonexistence as the now-familiar grief bubbled up to take its place and the distant memory of his cousin's smile made his chest ache. "He's probably only sad his only kid is gone." Zuko almost choked on his words and looked down to the floor tiles. "Forever."

She turned to him with a smirk. "That is why you are weak, Zuzu. I bet you would have done what Uncle did, am I right? But I wouldn't have. I would have stayed and fought."

_Because you're heartless._ Zuko had to clench his fists to keep from lashing out. It would have no difference if he attacked her or not. But it would be in his best interest not to. She had grown too far ahead now and she would literally have him lying on his back in a matter of moments. But he wanted to – so _badly_. How could she so emotionless like this? A member of her own family had just died and she almost sounded gleeful. Zuko hurt everywhere still. He had just been tired and listless all the time and he had begun to have nightmares of Lu Ten dying slowly under a dark, stone prison.

His tutors had all given up on his by now. They arrived as their duty dictated but Zuko could tell they had adopted a careless approach. Zuko knew he should have been ashamed by his lack of effort but the world had begun to seem bleak and sometimes he wondered whether it would all even be worth it. Nowadays, the only thing he took pleasure in were his moments alone with his mother and time spent practicing with his knife.

"Zuko, Azula," his mother suddenly called form the doorway. "Dress in your best clothes. Hurry now! Your father has asked for an audience with Firelord Azulon."

"Firelord Azulon," Azula scoffed carelessly. "Can't we just call his Grandfather? He's not exactly the powerful Firelord he used to be. Somebody will probably end up taking his place soon."

Zuko shot her an incredulous look. That had almost sounded like treason!

"Young Lady! Not. Another. Word," Mother snapped.

Azula only rolled her eyes and ran out the door. Zuko nervously glanced up at his mother and quickly followed his sister's path out just as he heard his mother murmur, "What is wrong with that child?"

Zuko caught up to his sister a few feet down the hall and glanced at her. She normally wasn't so blatantly petulant around Mother like that. Azula was always subtle, always careful to wreak her damage silently. So why did it seem as if she always lost a little bit of that control around Mother like that?

"What…do you think the audience is for?"

Azula shot him a contemptuous glare and turned away. "If you don't know by now then you really are a dum-dum."

"So what? _You_ know?"

She sniffed, looking down at him despite her shorter height, and gave Zuko a look that screamed "obviously". He fell silent after that and for the first time in a long time, they fell into an almost tolerable lull devoid of scathing remarks and arguments.

Just as they reached her bedroom door, Zuko hesitated the slightest bit, debating on whether he should ask what was wrong. Because there _was_ something wrong. He knew it. People watched the people they loved, but they watched the people who meant harm all the more. Something about Azula had always sat strangely with Zuko and he had found himself unconsciously documenting her every move, her every facial expression to catch the slightest notion that she might suddenly leap and devour him whole. With that much attention, Zuko knew Azula almost better than anybody else did.

Zuko stifled his hesitation and continued walking a few more steps to his own quarters. She would never answer him anyway. She would probably just scoff at him and call him weak again. He was about to close his door behind him when the softest of voices murmured from the adjacent doorway.

"I heard Mom. And I don't care what she says. There's _nothing_ wrong with me."

~0~

Zuko nervously resisted his habit of tugging on his clothes as he sat in the Fire Nation's very own throne room. He himself had been in the room a grand total of two times before in his entire life despite the fact that his grandfather was the Firelord. He didn't remember either time. The first had been when his parents had presented his newborn self. The second had been when Azula had been presented and he had only been two.

The relative darkness of the room sent shivers down his spine. They were the _Fire_ Nation for Agni's sake. Why did they make the throne room so devoid of light like this? True, it added to overall dramatic effect of the flames wreathing the throne but was that really necessary?

Zuko couldn't quite make out his grandfather's face. He had never seen it enough to actually memorize the contours like he had his immediate family. To Zuko, his grandfather was more a stranger than anything else. The only conversation he could remember between himself and the Firelord had been during his sixth birthday when the man had simply handed him a large wrapped gift and murmured, "Happy Birthday."

It hadn't even been a proper conversation, but Zuko could still recall the gravelly texture and the strange sense of _warmth_ in his grandfather's tone that day. Zuko smiled the slightest bit at the memory. He still treasured the gift the Firelord had given him by hand and they were currently neatly hung on his bedroom wall. The dual Dao swords had been a surprise and they had proved to be his favorite weapon when training with Master Piandao.

"And how was it that your great-grandfather, Sozin, win the Battle of Han Tui?" Father asked, already on his fifth question in a seemingly random questionnaire.

Zuko felt the brushings of recognition in his mind and he stammered, "Great-grandfather Sozin…won the battle…because…"

"Because even though his army was outnumbered, he cleverly calculated his advantages. The enemy was downwind and there was a drought. Their defenses burned to a crisp in minutes," Azula rattled off with a self-satisfied smirk.

Zuko didn't even have time for a glare before his father said, "Correct, Azula. Now why don't you show your grandfather the new firebending technique you demonstrated to me?"

Azula stood up with all the confidence of a prodigy and took up a stance. She immediately launched into a series of large blasts and quickly maneuvered her footwork to add to the impressive display. She grew ever faster and she ended neatly with a single, powerful kick before flipping back into her beginning stance.

So all of that time cartwheeling with Ty Lee hadn't been for simple fun. Of course, the perfect princess had been learning some advantages. She did nothing without a purpose.

"She is a true prodigy, just like her grandfather for whom she's named," Father said with the pride in his voice Zuko had longed every day for.

Azula settled back down beside Zuko and smugly murmured, "You'll never catch up."

Zuko knew that it was bait. He knew it. She always said things like that to rile him up. But he just couldn't seem to stop himself from saying, "I'd like to demonstrate what _I've_ learned."

He tried to ignore his father's noticeable frown of disapproval as he settled into his own beginning stance. He had been working hard the last year and despite his recent slack in work, he had finally been able to create something resembling Azula's own routine. He was nowhere near as clean cut as she was yet, but he tried to ignore that fact as he began the exercise.

But his father's frown stayed in his mind and soon, he found himself stumbling and desperately tried to fix his mistake by ending it with a kick like his sisters only to land on his back with not a single, final blast of flame to redeem himself.

Like always.

His mother's arms were immediately around him and he struggled to push her off. It was bad enough that he had completely shamed himself in front of Azula, father, _and_ the Firelord. He didn't want them seeing his mother baby him now.

"I failed," he mumbled, ignoring etiquette.

"No, Zuko, I loved watching you. That's who you are, Zuko," his mother soothed. "Somebody who keeps fighting even though it's hard."

Was it so bad that he actually loved to hear these words of comfort? They kept his hurt at bay and her soothing presence was like a balm against burns.

"Prince Ozai, why are you wasting my time with this pomp? Just tell me what you want. Everyone else – go," the Firelord commanded with a tinge of irritation.

Mother pulled Zuko up with her and strode forward with the intention of leading her children out of the throne room. Azula followed closely at Zuko's heels and just as they were about to exit, she grabbed his wrist and pulled him behind the long, ruby curtains that adorned the back wall.

"What are you –"

"Shh," Azula brusquely motioned with a swift jab of her finger and Zuko's protests died on his tongue. It wasn't like he was listening to her. He was just as curious as she. If they had a chance to listen in on Father's conversation, they should seize it.

"Father," the second Prince began, "I grieve for my brother's loss and I pray for my nephew's spirit, but you must have realized, just as I, that, with Lu Ten gone, Iroh's bloodline has ended. After his son's death, my brother abandoned the Siege of Ba Sing Se and who knows when he will return home? But I am here, Father, and my children are alive."

"Say what it is you want," the Fire Lord snapped.

What was Father trying to say? Why was Father speaking about Uncle and Lu Ten? Zuko wrinkled his brow and watched as the Fire Lord's expression remained impassive. He could only see his father's back but he could see the slight tension, the anticipation that seemed to tighten his back shoulders. Zuko didn't spend that much time with his father, but even he could see that. Whatever his father was trying to do, it was big because his father never portrayed any weakness, any flaw. His father was perfect. Just like Azula.

What was Zuko's father trying to do?

The Fire Nation's second Prince drew himself up and stood before the Fire Lord. "Father, revoke Iroh's birthright. I am your humble servant, here to serve you and our nation…use _me_."

There was a moment of deadly silence. Zuko almost choked at his father's request and he could hear his sister's elated intake of breath. A part of his mind wondered if Azula had known this would happen, but the majority of his mind was stunned. "Use me"? Was Father actually trying to..._take the throne?_ Away from Uncle? Hadn't they always told him that Uncle was the Crown Prince, the future leader of the world's greatest nation? Why was Father doing this? Why?

The Fire Lord's flames grew higher and he leaned forward in his throne with an almost incredulous expression on his face. Fury, shock, and complete disgust were etched in the old man's face.

"You _dare _suggest I betray Iroh? My firstborn? Directly after the demise of his only, beloved son?" Zuko could see a sort of grim determination, a sort of resignation in his grandfather's brow now. The flames, although high, were now brighter than ever and they seemed to enhance the Fire Lord's features. An overwhelmingly furious power emanated from the Fire Nation's leader and Zuko had to curl in his hands into the curtain to keep himself from fleeing. This was dangerous. This was something Zuko didn't want to see. Something about that set, thin line of his grandfather's mouth made him shiver in foreboding and dread curled in his stomach.

"Your brother has suffered enough," Zuko's grandfather snarled, "But you? You punishment as scarcely _begun_!"

Zuko's control snapped then. The wave of oppressive and pure power seemed to lash itself throughout the room like a shockwave and Zuko flinched away from it. Everything told him to run from this, run from it all. He wasn't afraid of the power nor was he afraid of his grandfather's ire, but something about all of this was just so _wrong_. Like the world had tilted on edge and only Zuko could sense that everything was going to fall off the edge. Nothing good could come of this. Nothing.

He detangled himself from the curtains and desperately hurled himself out of the room. He couldn't stay. That sense of _wrongness_ wouldn't go away and the only way he could think to escape it was to run. He didn't miss his sister's condescending smirk on his way out. She was most likely thinking him weak for fearing a mere display of power and anger but Zuko could have cared less. For the first time in a long time, _she_ was the stupid one. She couldn't sense it, could she? The wrongness? Was nothing telling her to get away? Was that feral expression of hunger on her face actually _excitement_? What, in Agni's name, could she possibly be excited about? Everything was wrong. Everything wasn't working like it should have. Lu Ten was dead. Uncle was away and heartbroken. Father was betraying his brother and asking for the throne. Grandfather was a mere breath away from incinerating his second son on the spot. What was there to be excited about?

Zuko flew down the halls, heedless of the startled expressions of the nobles and scholars that he passed. Pure terror had etched itself into his heart and he only ceased his escape once he slammed his bedroom door behind him. He desperately plunged his hand underneath his pillow and brought out his knife. He gripped it so hard his knuckles turned white and he feverishly unsheathed it to stare at the inscription for the thousandth time.

For once, it didn't calm him down. That terror, that wrongness, was still there.

~0~

Azula watched in silent awe as the Firelord, her grandfather, displayed his fury and power through the wall of flame shrouding his throne. A hint of a smirk touched her lips as Zuko trembled and ran away like the coward he was and a sense of fascination rooted her to the spot.

"Your punishment, Ozai, shall fit your crime. You too must know the pain of losing your firstborn son…by sacrificing your _own_."

Azula felt a thrill shoot through her stomach. Zuko, gone? And leaving her, her father's heir? It was exactly what she wanted. Exactly. The only thing Zuko was good for was taking up space. Maybe he sometimes smiled kindly at her and offered her the occasional extra bun from his dinner or the occasional question of whether she was "alright" or not, but those strange lapses of, dare she say it, _consideration_ were mere flukes. She knew it. She knew Zuko was jealous of her brilliance. Everybody was. Who wouldn't be? Azula was beautiful, smart, and powerful. She knew she was a road to greatness. Everybody _should_ be jealous. Zuko only tripped up everything he came by and stole Mother away with every pathetic little emotional spat he spouted almost daily like a baby. Mother and Zuko feared Azula's perfection. Only Father could truly appreciate her. With Zuko out of the way, she could finally take her rightful place beside Father.

But Firelord Azulon must have seen something in his second son's eyes, an inhuman spark of satisfaction for he continued, "I can see that you desire power, Ozai. You hunger for it and you shall pay for such greed. Iroh is your brother. How could you wish such destruction upon your kin? You shall not have as you desire."

"Father," Ozai said in an effort to mend his mistake. "I only had the fate of our nation in mind. If you allowed me to take the throne –"

"Silence!" the Fire Lord bellowed with a sweep of an arm. "Listen well, Prince Ozai. The only way I would even consider your request is if you did as I spoke of. Sacrifice your son and only then will I consider you in the same light as your brother."

Azula held her breath. What was Father going to say? A part of her actually hoped that he _wouldn't_ agree because if Father agreed to this now, what would stop him from sacrificing her if he needed to in the future? But a much larger part of her rejected that. Father loved her. He praised her. He didn't praise Zuko. He would never sacrifice his prodigal daughter. She was sure.

Father's long, black hair shrouded his face and a heavy silence descended upon the throne room for the longest, most agonizing moments of Azula's life. Was Father actually hesitating? Was Father going to give up this chance for a _dum-dum_? He couldn't! Father had always spoken softly to her of his aspirations after her lessons with him. He had always told her how much of a better world he could create if he were heir to the throne. He always told her how much he desired the throne, how he was going to change the world so that the Fire Nation would stand, indisputably, at the top.

Finally, the second Prince opened his mouth and gravely said, "If sacrificing Zuko is what it will take, than I am willing to even do that in order to prove to you, Father, that I am worthy."

A terrifying glee sent a manic grin across Azula's face. Zuko was going to be gone! _She_ would be the heir of the family, an only child! With him out of the way, she could have both her parents' attention! And it would only be a matter of time before grandfather dropped dead and her father took the throne that would rightfully be his after Zuko was gone and once he came to power –

"I am disappointed," the Fire Lord whispered in a tone almost sad. "I truly am disappointed, Ozai. I expected more from you."

Azula was just as surprised as her father.

"Father, what are you saying? I said I would be willing to – "

"And I heard you," the Fire Lord interrupted, his voice grim. "I heard you and was disappointed. You would be willing to sacrifice your only son for _power_. I am no fool, Ozai. I know my time is coming despite my good health. I know when I see one of my own too far gone to save. As fierce as our people are, as strongly as the flame of determination and strength runs through our veins, we must always remember to never fall prey to our insistent desire for power. And that is exactly what you have done. I cannot have my heir a person hungry for power. Our nation would never prosper with a leader that was driven by power."

No, no, no, no, no. This was wrong. This wasn't right. Just a minute ago, Azula could actually taste her father's victory. Now it was slipping between the cracks and disappearing altogether. What in Agni's name was the Fire Lord prattling on about? What was wrong with a ruler driven by power? Father had always told her that power was the only thing you could trust, the only thing that was good about the world. Everything else was a lie to hurt and shove you down. Power was everything.

"You will, indeed, still lose your son," Grandfather continued. "But you shall not lose him to something so crude as sacrifice. Our royal line is already so thin, so precarious. No, Zuko shall no longer be your son, but Iroh's. My firstborn has experienced his loss and he deserves his own heir." Azula could actually taste the horror coming off Father in waves. She herself felt like gagging. "From this day forward, Zuko shall be second in line for the throne and raised to be the next Crown Prince."

No! Azula had to clench her fists and take meditating breaths to calm her temper. This couldn't be happening. Zuko, as the next Crown Prince? She wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't. Zuko didn't deserve such a place. Zuko didn't deserve _anything._ He was a good-for-nothing bastard, lucky to be born.

Azula scrambled backwards and out the throne room, unable to watch her father bow before the Fire Lord in concession. She was actually running away, fear striking at her heart like fear had struck her brother's a few minutes before. If Zuko became the next Crown Prince, what would she be? She wouldn't be a Prince's son then. She would just be part of another branch of the royal family, another one of those nobodies who populated the palace. She couldn't let that happen. She wasn't born for something so _lowly_. She was born into power and she would have it, no matter the cost.

Azula forced herself to slow down and _think_. What could she do? She knew Father would already be acting, fixing the problem. But she wanted to help. She wanted to make sure that the Fire Lord's command wouldn't come to fruition.

A smirk formed on her face. Oh, yes. She could make sure. She could make sure in such a way that nobody else could.

Mother had always been fiercely protective of Zuko. It wouldn't take much to lie, to twist this into a situation that would work in Father's favor.

And Azula had always been good at lying.

* * *

**So yup, there was the first deviation from the canon :) I bet a lot of you guessed what I was going to do already. **

**And I know that a lot of this was taken from the canon (the scenes I mean). The wording is practically the exact same thing and it was actually an effort on my part to keep it as exact as possible. (Once again, I don't own the thing so let's not call the lawyers.) I thought that these scenes were pretty crucial and I only changed/added what I had to. From here on out, it's going to be pretty AU. Obviously. **

**I also tried to paint some humanity into Azula in this chapter. The previous chapters were pretty black and white in terms of Azula's cruel streak, but I really wanted to keep her a round character. For all of her confidence, we all know that she has this whole "Mother hates me and it hurts but I ignore it and act cool" thing. She has her own internal issues and I wanted that out there. She's an ass but, like most asses, she has some deep issues.**

**Oh, and for all of you hoping for pairings...I guess I'm going to have to apologize to you ahead of time. I just don't like writing pairings. Number one because the way I write pairings turn out cheesy as hell but also because most of the time it tends to just get in the way of the plot. Unless, of course, that's the plot itself. But it isn't in my case. I plan to focus on Zuko's struggles, his story in this AU. I might add a pairing if it comes to fit, but I will never capitalize on it and will mention it in passing at most.**

**Also, if I ever do a pairing, it will never be Zutara or Maiko. Sorry. It just wouldn't make sense. As cute and sweet as some scenes make those pairings seem in canon, I just don't see how, realistically, they would work out. Zuko chased Katara all over the world with the intention of taking away the Avatar and handing him over to his crazed dad. That, and he burned a village or two along the way. So no, too much bad blood there and it would just take WAY too long to even develop a suitable situation for the pairing. Plus, in my story, Zuko won't know Katara as well as he did in canon. And Mai? Okay, maybe they shared a CHILDHOOD crush. But, in canon, Zuko's been at sea for THREE YEARS. Three years of bitterness, difficulties, and experiencing the outside world. He wouldn't be the same and such a time gap wouldn't keep their bond THAT tightly knit. In my story, they just wouldn't work out for different reasons that I won't voice now. **

**But yay, now with the whole scene set up, I can finally get to the JUICY stuff :D **

**Thanks to all my reviewers! You guys keep me going :) **


	4. Part 1: The Assassin

**I do not own anything that could get me sued. **

* * *

**Part 1: The Assassin**

Zuko stared listlessly into the darkness and tightened his grip on his silk blankets. His hair was free of its usual topknot and it framed his pale face as he tried to fall asleep. A part of him shied away from the idea of rest. Nowadays, it only brought nightmares and thoughts of his dead cousin. And after watching Father speak with Grandfather…Zuko wasn't so sure sleep would be the best idea.

His stomach flipped at the memory and that _wrongness_ was back again. Zuko clenched his teeth and growled softly in his throat before shifting his position for the hundredth time. Would it kill the spirits to grant him the blessing of decent sleep? They had already messed up the rest of his life. What had he ever done to anger them? Maybe it was as Azula said. Maybe the fact that he was _born_ was good enough reason for the spirits to hate him.

Zuko snuck his hand under his pillow and clenched his knife. No, he couldn't think like that. Azula was just saying that. None of it was true. Zuko knew it. He knew it. And Azula…Azula was just…just a _liar_.

"Azula always lies," Zuko murmured softly to himself in the silence of the night. He tightened his grip on the knife's sheath. Yes, she did. Nothing she said was ever true. Nothing. Zuko wasn't lucky to be born. He was meant to be born. He was meant to be the son of a Prince, a member of royalty.

Zuko was torn from his thoughts as the distinct sound of his door opening snapped his attention away. He straightened up slightly before slouching back with a scowl.

It was Azula. Of course it was her. She had taken up the habit of giving him "goodnight wishes".

"Daddy's going to kill you," she chanted in a singsong voice. Then she turned to him with a smirk. "Really. He is."

"Shut up, Azula," Zuko grumbled. That was all he seemed to be telling her lately.

"I mean it." She sauntered up to his bed and leaned against the side. "'Your punishment shall fit your crime and you will know the pain of losing your firstborn son by sacrificing your _own_,'" she mimicked.

A bolt of horror froze Zuko in place for a moment before he bit the inside of his mouth and pulled his knees to his chest in defiance. "You're lying. Dad would never do that to me."

He wouldn't, right? Zuko knew that he disappointed his father, but surely he wouldn't sacrifice his only son? A flash of contempt and disapproval flickered through Zuko's mind but he shoved them aside. His father would never do something like _that_. His father cared for him. His father loved him.

"Your father would never do what to you?" his mother's voice suddenly asked form the doorway.

Zuko shot his gaze up to his mother's concerned face and a slight ripple of relief flooded him. As silly as it was, he felt safe around her. With Mother around, he knew nothing bad could possibly happen. She always seemed to fix things and make things better.

"We need to have another talk," his mother said angrily as she grabbed Azula's wrist and dragged her out the room.

Zuko watched them go but the feeling of satisfaction he normally gained from watching his sister being taken to lecture was absent. His only thoughts were about his father and Azula's words.

What if…she had been telling the truth?

No. She was lying. She _had_ to be lying.

"Azula always lies," he chanted again, the phrase coming back to him. "Azula always lies. Azula always lies. Azula always lies…"

~0~

Zuko woke up to the clamor of alarm bells ringing in his ears. He flinched at the noise and briefly wondered when he had fallen asleep. He certainly hadn't been planning on doing so but maybe he had finally given into exhaustion. He winced again as a particularly close bell sounded and jolted him into action. If the palace bells were ringing in the dead of the night, it meant he had to _get out_.

Zuko called a small flame into existence over his left palm and pulled off his sheets to head for the door. His hair was askew around his face and he was only wearing his sleeping robes but he didn't have the time to worry about such things when possible intruders were inside and out for blood. He had been taught to react immediately upon the alarm, especially when every second could mean a step closer to safety.

He was halfway to his door when he stopped and hesitated. He cast a quick glance at the dual Dao swords hanging just a few steps away on the wall and swiftly decided to bring them along. The weapons were one of the few things he was good at and if worst came to worst, maybe they might end up helping more than his paltry firebending. Zuko quickly dashed over to the wall and lifted the swords free before slinging them across his back in one smooth movement. He only took one more look around his room just in case before opening his door and running out into the dark hallway.

The little flame over Zuko's palm was the only thing lighting his way. But he had grown up in the palace and, if forced to, he could navigate fairly well without it. He actually considered dousing his flame as he ran, thinking that it might bring more attention to him in such darkness where he was the only beacon available. Zuko bit his lip and glanced at his surroundings to gain his bearings before clenching his left hand shut.

The hallway was immediately drenched in blackness and Zuko faltered a bit in his pace. The abrupt lack of light had surprised him. He suddenly realized that for all eleven years of his life, he had never gone a single second without some source of brightness. During the day, the sun provided the warmth and brilliance. During the night, the lamps were lit and only stifled after he had fallen asleep. Even when he remained awake for the majority of the night, Zuko lit a small flame in his palm to comfort him. So when the darkness had descended upon the hallway as he ran, he had been startled to finally experience what pitch-blackness was.

Yet, after the initial shock, he did not feel afraid. He had heard some of the other noble children speak about their fear of the dark occasionally and he had been expecting the same thing to occur in his case. But his eyes quickly adjusted and the night began to take on different shades of gray and black. He noticed some of the darker shadows and instinctively clung to them as he continued down the hall. This absence of light wasn't uncomfortable to him. Yes, it was something new and a little foreign, but he felt an odd sort of kinship and understanding to it all. Nobody liked the darkness. Nobody wanted to remember it, to look at it. But it continued to prevail and provide the cover for those who did not wish to be discovered. He almost liked the shadows with all of its secrecy.

Zuko abruptly stilled his movements as his ears picked up a crash from behind him. It had been distant and far but he was unnerved at the thought that they were actually in the same vicinity. He shuddered as he realized that the intruders had most likely broken into his or Azula's rooms because their quarters were the only ones down that section of the hall. What if he had still been in his bed? Zuko's blood froze as another thought came to him. What if _Azula_ was still in her bed? He should have checked on her first before running!

Zuko actually began to turn back for the smallest of moments before a hand shot out to catch his wrist and another wrapped itself around his mouth.

"Mmf!"

Zuko struggled against slim fingers and he desperately tried to speak out past the hand clamping his mouth shut but his form was too small. He wildly kicked, hoping to catch a shin or two but his efforts only met with air before the restraint around his wrist disappeared only to reappear around his waist. Zuko's eyes widened, recognizing what his captor was about to do and he could feel the flicker of flames tickling his fingers, acting in reply to his fear. His eyes only widened even further when his flames were forcibly stifled and terror almost froze his heart.

There were only a select few firebenders who could do such a thing. As poor as his technique was, Zuko knew he had inherited some of the royal line's strength and few inner flames outside of the royal line had the will to override it. Inner flame _was_ will and the Fire Lord's line had spent decades cultivating and perfecting it. Stifling and forcing another's fire required a stronger will, for stifling flame meant defeating another's will. And this captor, whomever it was, had actually stifled _Zuko's_ flame.

_Agni._ What was he supposed to do now? Not only was he in the hands of somebody larger, but also somebody who had a stronger inner flame. And judging from the small and naturally delicate bone-work keeping his captive, Zuko was also fairly sure that the person holding him a _girl. _Why did he have the worst luck in the entire Fire Nation?

Zuko had little time for his morbid thoughts as the arm around his waist swiftly lifted him off the ground, leaving him incapable of anything more than flailing uselessly with his limbs. He continued to struggle as his captor carried him further down the hall, away from his bedroom. The intruder turned abruptly at one of the crossings Zuko had known was coming and ducked into one of the smaller bedrooms.

As the door shut behind them, Zuko renewed his struggles and he snarled, "Put me down! Why are you doing this? Put me down!"

"Hush, Zuko," a soft, _familiar_ voice whispered a little desperately into his ear. "It is I."

Zuko immediately ceased his movements and slackened his body into his captor's grip. He recognized that voice. He recognized these hands that held him.

"Mother?"

"Oh, Zuko, I'm sorry I had to do that to you. I know how much you hate it when somebody stifles your flame but I had no other choice. I couldn't risk talking to you where they might see us."

Zuko furrowed his brow and finally took a good look at his so-called captor. His mother's hair was pulled up neatly like it always was and her face held that comforting warmth that always calmed him down. Her hands were now soothingly rubbing his back as she held his body on her hip like she had done many times when he had been younger.

But something wasn't right. The large flame ornament that normally adorned her topknot wasn't there. Only a single crimson ribbon held her hair in place and a large traveling cloak covered her clothes.

"Mother, what do you mean you had to? Did you hear the intruders too? Is that why you caught me like that?"

His mother's brow furrowed and a strange flicker of guilt seemed to cross her face. "Zuko, I'm sorry my love but I can't explain now. I just need you to know that whatever I have tried to do, I tried to do in order to protect you." The princess pursed her lips before placing her son down on to the floor and kneeling down to match his height. "Zuko, I need you to come with me now. Away from here."

Zuko stared at his mother. What in Agni's name was she talking about? Leave here? Leave home? "Because of the intruders?" he asked hesitantly. But that wasn't right. He had been taught that there was a secret hideaway just a few more steps down this very hallway where a single tug at a certain porcelain vase's base would reveal it. Nobody but the royal family knew of it. That was almost guaranteed safer than trying to escape the palace where the intruders were already lurking.

"Zuko, please," his mother begged. "I need you to come with me. It isn't safe here anymore."

"But the guards will catch the intruders soon," Zuko said. "Once they're caught we're going to be okay. We just need to wait in the secret room, right?"

A pained look clouded his mother's eyes and she seemed to suddenly be on the verge of tears, as she replied, "No, Zuko It isn't the…intruders you should be worried about. Your life here just isn't safe anymore."

"Why?" he petulantly demanded. "Why are you saying that, Mom? This is our home. This is where we belong!"

"Please," his mother choked out. "Zuko, my love –"

Both of them suddenly tensed as the very same crash of somebody forcing open a door echoed outside the door. This time, though, Zuko caught the faint yells and heard some of the words.

"Maybe the intruder is down here!"

"No, she would have gone down this hallway!"

Zuko stiffened and whispered, "It's the guards. The sound I heard earlier…it was just the guards."

But his mother paid no heed to his words. Instead, she took his face in her hands and looked at him in the eye. "Zuko, please, do you trust me?"

"Yes," Zuko replied immediately. "I do, Mother. But what are you talking about? The guards are here now! We're going to be fine and – "

"No!"

Zuko froze at his mother's cold tone and then shrunk in upon himself. He had never heard that tone from her before. She had never spoken to him like that. Only Father or Azula or his teachers or the other nobles spoke to him like that. But never his mother. Never Mother.

"Oh, Zuko, I didn't mean that," Mother hastily murmured. "But you are _not_ going to be fine. You are in danger, Zuko."

"No," Zuko whispered, betrayed. "No. The guards are here to protect us."

"Zuko, please – "

"No. No! You're wrong, Mom!"

Zuko wrenched himself out of his mother's grip and hurtled himself out of the room even as his mother called out desperately, "Zuko!"

But Zuko ignored her. What was she saying? He belonged here! Why would he be in _danger_? He was the son of the second Prince. Sure there were some insane people out there for the royal family's lives but that was a risk they all lived with. Nobody within the palace itself meant him harm.

Right?

Zuko skidded to a halt in the hall and yelled, "I'm here! Guards!"

A slight clamor from down the opposite hallway and a smile graced his lips. They were coming. Now he could show Mother that everything was going to be fine. He turned to the room where his mother had taken him and faltered the slightest bit as tears streamed down her face like it had when the letter containing Lu Ten's demise had arrived.

"M-mom?" Zuko hesitantly said.

She shook her head and moved so quickly Zuko didn't realize she had done so until after his face was buried in her cloak and her arms were wrapped around him.

"Remember this, Zuko: I love you and no matter how things may seem to change, _never forget who you are_."

And then, his mother was gone into the shadows that wreathed the night.

"My lord!" called one of the guards as he approached the confused boy. "Are you alright?"

Zuko jolted out of his stupor and quickly turned to the guard. "Ah, yes I am well. Thank you for your concern."

"Did you not hear the alarm?" the guard asked as several others of his group came to join them.

"I did but I heard your voices and here I am."

One of the other guards smiled in relief. "Thank goodness. We thought the princess had gotten you already."

Zuko wrinkled his brow. "Princess?"

"Princess Ursa, your mother," the guard said grimly. "She is the intruder we are looking for. And she is most certainly no longer a member of the royal family."

Zuko's breath caught in his throat and he suddenly felt sick. "What? Why?"

"She is wanted for attempted assassination."

A horrible idea began to bloom in Zuko's mind and he began to shake his head. "What are you talking about? Mother would never try to assassinate anybody. She wouldn't do that."

"My lord," the guard said, a touch of sympathy in his eyes. "Your mother tried to assassinate the Fire Lord."

~0~

It had seemed so easy. She knew Mother always went to give Zuko his little "good nights". All she had to do was go taunt her brother about what she had heard (with certain pieces of information left out, of course) and Mother would surely hear some of it. It would pique her mother's concern for her _favorite_ child and she had only made it easier when she had demanded a talk.

Azula had obliged. A vague mentioning of a certain sacrifice and Mother was already on her merry way off to protect Zuko.

Azula had imagined Mother going to speak to Fire Lord Azulon himself. Even if the Fire Lord told her the whole truth, she would still reject the verdict. She loved Zuko too much to give him up. She had imagined Mother going to speak to Father but Azula had known nothing would change there. She had imagined her mother going off to warn Zuko himself but he had already proven how stubborn he was.

What she hadn't expected was her mother going off and trying to _kill _the Fire Nation's ruler. It had been too stupid and rash of a move. Azula hadn't expected it to happen. If it had succeeded, it would have been perfect. But her useless mother had gone and botched the job and now the Fire Lord was still alive and his verdict along with him. Azula was almost positive the attempted assassination would provoke her grandfather into acting sooner.

Everything had backfired. What had seemed to be a perfect plan had unraveled completely.

And for the first time in Azula's life, she realized that she had lost.

* * *

**I know that this was a shorter chapter than the rest but I felt like I just had to get this out :P**

**Alright, so some of this was still in canon but I can now confidently claim that, from now on, my version is going to be almost completely AU. **

**And in canon, I was actually rather unsure about whether Ursa was the one who actually killed the Fire Lord and had to leave because of that or Ozai killed the Fire Lord and Ursa decided to take the blame in exchange for Zuko's life. But I personally thought the best explanation was the first and it fit my story rather well. There are a myriad of reasons why she could have failed. As old as Azulon is, he must have SOME skill left in order to tell whether somebody out's to get you and defend. So Ursa failed in this one and now Zuko is left alive and alone. **

**Ah...Azula. Yes, she went and convinced her mother that the Fire Lord was literally demanding Ozai to sacrifice Zuko. But HAH. It backfired and now she can't do anything else for the time being. She's so mean. Getting rid of her own mother like that. **

**And thank you to all of my reviewers! I really love the encouragement and feedback I receive from you guys :)**

**And Kimberly T: I'm still going to mention why she never said goodbye to Azula. And thank you for providing a lot of the inspiration for this chapter! **


	5. Part 1: Azula's Truth

**I do not own anything that could get me sued.**

* * *

**Part 1: Azula's Truth**

It had to be a lie. It had to be. None of it could be true.

Zuko choked on his breath for the umpteenth time and clenched his fists in an effort to keep his emotions in check. The royal dressers glanced up at his discomfort but remained silent. They merely continued their duty, tying his hair into a perfect topknot and straightening his clothes within an inch of its life.

Yesterday, Zuko had changed into his formal clothes on his own because the call for the audience had been on short notice and in an informal setting. Normally, if one wished to see the Fire Lord, one filed for a meeting days ahead (weeks or even months if you weren't a part of the family) and prepared by dressing in one's finest for hours beforehand. One couldn't just arrive to speak with the Fire Lord so casually. It was a rare exception for the nation's ruler to take any requested audiences within the week let alone the day. It just didn't suit the Fire Lord to listen to petty squabbles and words when it wasn't on his own terms.

Yet here were the royal dressers preparing Zuko for an audience with the Fire Lord.

One that Zuko hadn't even asked for.

If it were up to him, he would have locked his bedroom door after the alarm bells had ceased and commanded his servants to leave him alone. He didn't want to speak anybody, to see anybody. He didn't want to think about what had happened, how his mother was…_gone_.

A part of him was actually glad that Mother had escaped. He couldn't imagine what horrors would have awaited her had she been taken in. Assassination attempts on any member of the noble class were grave crimes. Attempted assassination of the Fire Lord? That was just something nobody even bothered to consider. Not only was the punishment a long, painful death, but the chances of actually succeeding on such a mission was close to null. The security consisted of the finest firebenders and even if one managed to breach that, the Fire Lord himself was another challenge onto himself. He might be aging but he was still considered the most powerful bender in the entire nation.

Yes, Zuko was actually happy that his mother was, for now, safe to a degree. There would be wanted posters and a large bounty for her head for sure, but now that she was out of the palace, Zuko was confident that his mother could hide herself well.

But that relief was only a fraction of the larger part of him stung and hurt. The news of Lu Ten's death had only been delivered two days ago and now his mother (his _mother!_) had tried to kill his grandfather. She couldn't be here for him anymore. Whenever he lost to Azula again or failed another demonstration, his mother wouldn't be there to help him back up. All those afternoons watching and feeding the turtleducks would only be memories now and that familiar scent of slightly burnt maple wouldn't linger in the rooms anymore. No longer would a patient wife quell his father's brief moments of fiery temper. No longer would Zuko feel gentle fingers carding through his hair in affection. No longer would he hear that melodious voice whispering encouragement to him.

But why? Why had she gone and decided to attempt such a suicidal mission? It was madness to try such a thing. Everybody knew it. Zuko knew his mother knew. She had always warned him about his manners and his self-control around those in a higher position than himself and, especially, around his grandfather. She had always told him that speaking out of turn or attempting anything rash would only land him in trouble. So why?

There was but only one answer: Azula.

It had to be her. Zuko wasn't stupid. He knew that after his mother had pulled Azula out of his bed last night, his sister had probably been forced to reveal the information she had heard in the throne room. Azula had most likely been dragged into the hall and the story pulled from her lips. But Zuko hadn't believed a word his sister had said. It was just too ridiculous a notion to even consider. His father, kill him? Zuko would rather bet that the Avatar was still alive. He _knew_ it was impossible.

So why had his mother believed it?

That had to have been the reason why she had gone and tried to kill Grandfather. His mother had heard Azula's tale, trusted it, and gone to protect her son. But what was there to protect him from? Surely his mother knew that his father wouldn't do such a thing!

It was all just a convoluted mess in Zuko's mind and he let out a frustrated growl, causing the royal dressers to glance at him once more. He noticed their reactions and forced himself to take deep breaths.

Maybe…maybe his mother had a reason to believe Azula's tale. Maybe his father _had_ to carry out the deed. Maybe his father had been forced to…to…

No! Zuko bit his lips. Even if his father had been forced to do so, he would have done everything in his power to find a way out of it, to protect his only son. His father wasn't a cruel man. He loved Zuko and the only reason why he wasn't like mother was because he was the head of their family and had to enforce a form a disappointment at his son's obvious failings. Zuko knew he was a disappointment to his father. That was nothing new. But that disappointment wouldn't cause his father to actually agree to do the deed, right?

But his mother obviously thought otherwise. But she, of all people, knew Father wasn't as harsh as he put himself to be. He was just good at what he was supposed to do and it was all Zuko's fault for not earning the affection that Azula earned.

The traitorous part of Zuko's mind whispered contrasting thoughts. No, it whispered. Father _would_ have gone and killed you. He would have. That was why mother had to try to kill the Fire Lord so that she could save you from such a fate. You should have gone with her when you had the chance. But just because she spoke one harsh word to you, you turned away like a _child_ and sealed your own doom. Now there's nobody to save you.

Zuko let out a pained cry at those thoughts and the faintest flicker of flames wreathed his clenched fists at his loss of control. One of he royal dressers closer to his hands actually emitted a slight shriek at the unexpected burst and stumbled back to avoid being burned. Many of the palace workers were actually non-benders and Zuko felt a stab of remorse at causing the woman such a start. She didn't deserve to suffer at his expense. She was only here because it was her job and Zuko had nearly hurt her because he couldn't get a hold on his emotions.

"I'm so sorry!" Zuko hastily exclaimed after the dresser had stepped back. "I-I'm just a little shaken by last night's events. I shouldn't have allowed myself such a lapse and I apologize."

The woman's first reaction was surprise at Zuko's words. The elite palace workers always saw the higher class meander through their daily rituals but few had ever had the honor of actually speaking to one of higher position. Most nobles saw it beneath them to speak to mere workers and the scholars invited to the palace were often too involved in their studies and books to even give anybody else a second glance.

But after the initial shock, the woman's face melted into a sort of motherly understanding that Zuko had seen so many times on his own mother's face and his heart constricted as she replied, "It is alright, my lord. I should not have reacted so. I should have had more trust in you and continued my duties without a word."

Zuko flushed and awkwardly stood in place before the dresser settled back into position and the finishing touches on his personage were completed.

When the women had finally left him and he was alone in his room, Zuko let out a long breath and tried not to think about his mother as he idly sat on the edge of his bed. He made sure to leave his clothes unruffled and nervously thought about the upcoming audience with his grandfather instead.

Had Azula actually been telling the truth? She couldn't have. Zuko wouldn't believe it because believing meant saying that his father really did mean him harm and that he wasn't safe in the palace anymore. It meant that everything he had grown up with was a lie and that he wasn't meant to remain in his position of royalty. For so long he had depended on the foundation of his strong but strict father, his kind mother to ease the wounds, and his belief in his birthright. Already one of those foundations was gone and if he believed Azula now, it would destroy the rest and leave Zuko with nothing to hold on to.

Zuko took another shaky breath and resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair in anxiety. Instead, he slipped a hand underneath his pillow and pulled out his knife for reassurance. He was ashamed to admit that he hadn't brought it with him last night when fleeing his quarters. It should have been the first thing he grabbed but in the rush of the bells and the surprise of such a sudden threat, it had completely flown out of his mind. Zuko was ashamed to think about it and he felt like he had failed his cousin. This knife was something left behind from the days when things were actually _right_ and leaving it behind had made Zuko feel like he had forgotten to bring such a _right_ with him. Like the chaos and cacophony had taken over his life and forced him to forget the times when things were good and happy.

Zuko ran pale fingers along the knife's sheath and gently gripped its edges to lift it off and reveal the characters inscribed into the blade that he knew so well.

Never give up without a fight.

It sounded like something Lu Ten would say.

It sounded like something _Mother_ would say.

Zuko allowed himself to smile shakily at the thought and he shoved away his misgivings. Azula was a liar. He was sure of that. He was also sure that his father loved him and he had nothing to fear of the upcoming audience with the Fire Lord.

He was Zuko, first and only son of second prince Ozai and Lady Ursa, and now third in line for the throne.

Zuko sheathed the knife and slid it back under his pillow, musing about what to do with Azula's lie. It made him feel pleased to finally have something over her and a vicious fury now burned at his insides.

It was his sister's fault that his mother was now a fugitive and he would be damned before he let this go so easily.

~0~

Azula wasn't accustomed to nervousness. It just wasn't something she experienced on a daily basis like her pathetic brother did. He was a failure. She was perfect. Simple as that.

But now that the Fire Lord had summoned Zuko for a private audience right after her mother's assassination attempt, she knew that she had to do something fast before her own plan backfired on her.

Her plan had, actually, already backfired in that Zuko would now be pronounced Crown Prince after Uncle Iroh. She knew that if she had enough time, she could convince her brother to believe what she had told Mother but time was something she didn't have. And even if she did manage to convince her brother right here and now, she knew that there was no chance of his trying to escape before the audience. The security was just too high right now and the meeting was only in ten minutes time.

Azula couldn't avoid her brother's new position anymore but she could force Zuko to keep his mouth shut about the lie when speaking to Grandfather. It would be disastrous if he spoke of it in the throne room. The Fire Lord wouldn't trust her to anything anymore and word would spread. The influence she had been gaining all her life would be down the drain and, worse than anything else, he father would hear of it and be furious.

So it was with bitter defeat and complete frustration eating at her heart that she entered her brother's room a few minutes prior to his private audience with the Fire Lord.

"Hello, Zuzu," she purred as she opened the door a little harder than she had intended.

"Shut up, Azula," Zuko retorted. He was so predictable. Azula could read him like a book and she knew that, given the chance, she could rip him to pieces with that knowledge. But now wasn't the time.

She ambled up to his bed like she had done the night before and said, "So Mom is gone."

That fiery anger lit up in her brother's eyes. "Yes. Thanks to you!"

"You injure me, dear brother. It wasn't I who forced her to try such a stupid assassination."

"You told Mom," Zuko hissed. "You told her those _lies_."

"But they weren't," Azula grinned. "What are you talking about? I wasn't lying when I said Father would kill you." And she wasn't. Father had said so.

"He wouldn't. Dad loves me."

At that, Azula burst into laughter. Did her ignorant brother actually believe that nonsense? The only person you could trust was yourself. Didn't he know that? Father didn't love him. Every day after practice, Azula would get an earful of how disappointing her brother was. She knew Father. She knew he wanted nothing more than to get rid of his weak son. Weakness wasn't something Father tolerated and Zuko was a living testimony of weakness.

"Why are you laughing?" Zuko demanded furiously. "There's nothing to laugh about!"

"Oh, you are so _naïve_, Zuzu," Azula laughed. "You actually think that Dad wouldn't kill you?"

There it was. The smallest flicker of doubt in her brother's eyes. She could work off that. She could work with doubt.

"Of course he would kill you. He had to," Azula said in mock seriousness. She didn't miss the sign of faint confirmation and recognition at the claim. So Zuko had actually considered the idea that Father was forced to do something like kill his only son. This just made it all the easier. "When Grandpa said that, he didn't give father a choice. Either that, or…" she leaned in with a whisper, "kill _Mom_."

Zuko's eyes widened and he gasped, "What?"

"You heard me." Azula drew back. "He gave Dad the option of you or Mom. And of course he chose Mom. Wouldn't you, Zuzu?"

Her brother seemed at war with himself. She could almost hear his thoughts. It was so pathetic Azula was hard pressed to keep her mirth in control. He was falling for this hook, line, and sinker and she had only said a few words to him.

"But Mom didn't want to see you die. So she tried to kill Grandpa and now she's gone. Since Mom's gone, who knows what Grandpa will do? Maybe he'll kill you." Azula paused to watch Zuko pale at the thought. "Or maybe…he'll do something worse."

"What might he do?" Zuko asked fearfully.

"He might actually make you leave the family and be Uncle's son instead."

Confusion immediately painted her brother's face. "What? That's not so bad."

"He's trying to break us up, to punish Dad for asking for the throne," Azula said. "He's trying to break up our family and it's already working. Mom is gone and soon you will be too."

Zuko was at war with himself again but he manged to say, "What…what should I do?"

Azula could taste sweet, sweet victory on her tongue. "You're going to have to obey him, of course. You can't just refuse him outright. Then he would just kill you. But you have to keep this a secret between us. If he finds out that you know of his plan, that I overheard, he'll just kill the both of us. I would tell you to run away like Mom but you're going to have to meet him in a few minutes and the security is too high. After you speak with him, there's no escape, Zuzu."

Zuko licked his lips. "Maybe we should tell Dad."

"No!"

Her brother jumped in surprise at her tone and a flicker of suspicion entered his face. "Why not?"

"Because this way we won't get Dad involved. This way, it will be easier on Dad. He won't have to act like us. He won't have to live knowing that Grandpa is trying to ruin our family. You don't want to put more burden on Dad, right?"

"But…don't you think Dad would have figured it out like you have? Don't you think he would realize that the Fire Lord is trying to split us?"

Was Zuzu always this observant? Azula bit the inside of her cheek to keep from growling in annoyance. "Dad won't know. He probably thinks that now Mom is gone, his punishment is now complete and naming you Uncle's son is just the last of the punishment. He won't think that his own _father _would try to ruin his family just like we would think, and know, that Dad would never try and split us up. Grandpa is just a mean, old man who's going to die soon anyway and his bitterness is taking over."

That probably got to Zuko. If anything, Azula knew that making him feel guilty about father and Mom's disappearance would be more than enough persuasion. Zuko had always been weak that way and now it would work to her advantage.

"You have to remember this and never tell Grandpa any of this," Azula emphasized. "He can never know. And, for that matter, nobody else can know either. They would just rat us out."

Zuko hesitated and quietly murmured, "Why should I trust you?"

"Because," Azula said with all of the sincerity she could muster, "you might be a dum-dum but you're _my_ dum-dum and _nobody_ messes with our family."

Ugh. She felt like gagging. Azula had never believed, in a million years, that she would be spouting this touchy feely nonsense. But if this would be what it took to convince Zuko to keep his mouth shut then she would have to bear with it and wash her mouth later.

Azula was surprised to still see a trace of uncertainty and distrust in her brother's disposition at the end of her declaration but was pleased to hear him say, "Alright. I won't tell Grandpa. Or anybody else."

Azula broke into a brilliant smile. "That's a good dum-dum."

Zuko was silent before he quietly said, "But if you're lying again Azula, I swear I'll get you back for this."

Like that could ever happen. More like he would land on his face while trying to do so. But now wasn't the time to insult Zuzu. She had to placate him for now and take comfort in her small victory.

~0~

"Look at me."

Zuko couldn't stop his hands from trembling but somehow managed to lift his head out of his respectful bow to look at the Fire Lord above him.

His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. Was Azula telling the truth? Zuko hadn't completely believed her. It was just too far-fetched for Grandfather to name him Uncle's son to punish Father. If Grandfather did that, it would mean placing Zuko as the next Crown Prince. That was a large, risky move and Zuko was almost sure that it wouldn't happen.

But what Azula had been telling the truth? It certainly explained why Mother had a reason to believe why Father would do something like kill his only son. He knew how amazingly persuasive his sister could be and that she had an innate talent for lying. But sometimes she told the truth when it hurt even more. As strange as Azula's reasoning had sounded, he didn't want to take any chances and decided to keep his mouth shut about their conversation until after hearing the what the Fire Lord had to say. If Grandfather proclaimed as Azula had said he would, Zuko would trust her and never breathe a word of their knowledge. If Grandfather proclaimed otherwise, Zuko would just reveal Azula's lies and that would be that.

"You have grown, Zuko," the Fire Lord mused from his seat. "I did not have much time to address you yesterday but now that we have some time to ourselves, I can profess my observations to you."

Zuko uncomfortably shifted under his grandfather's scrutiny and decided not to reply. What was he supposed to say to that?

"No need to be so tight-lipped. Speak, Zuko."

Zuko grappled for something to say and lamely replied, "I haven't grown that much, my lord."

If he hadn't been so uptight, Zuko might have actually caught the twitch of a smile on the Fire Lord's lips. "But you have. I haven't seen you properly since your sixth birthday. How did you like my gifts, by the way?"

Zuko couldn't completely stifle the smile that broadened on his face at the mention of the dual Dao swords and shyly said, "I appreciate them very much, my lord. I have since learned to use them and I thank you."

"I thought you might like them." There was a moment of silence before the Fire Lord sighed and leaned back. "But enough of that. You are most likely wondering why I have summoned you."

"Yes, my lord," Zuko said, his throat dry.

"Yesterday, after you departed, you father asked for a very…presumptuous favor of me."

Zuko had to stifle his increased trembling and asked the expected question. "What was the favor my father asked of you, my lord?"

"Your father, immediately after hearing of his own brother's loss, asked for the throne, Zuko." The Fire Lord's face was grave. "He was betraying his own brother in the time of his darkest hour. Perhaps you do not realize it now, but losing one's son is one of the cruelest fates the spirits could condemn us to."

Zuko's breathing was picking up pace and he had to force himself to maintain control. He knew where this was going and he was almost afraid to hear what his grandfather would say.

"Your father had to be punished for such an action. And I have deemed that his punishment must fit his crime."

The eerie words echoed in Zuko's mind from Azula's recounting of events the previous night. She had said the exact same words.

"My lord?" Zuko asked tentatively. "Perhaps you could spare my father-"

"Do not interrupt me, Zuko," his grandfather reprimanded. "Remember your place."

Zuko fell silent and surreptitiously rubbed his sweaty palms against his lap.

The Fire Lord looked at his grandson for a moment before continuing. "Your father needs to be punished, Zuko. You must understand that Ozai is also my son and it is for his benefit that I do this."

For Father's benefit? How could punishing his father be a _benefit_? Zuko looked down at the floor for a moment to control himself before looking back up. He felt sick and he was suddenly terribly sure of what his grandfather was going to say next.

"Your father must learn the pain of losing his firstborn and the price of his arrogance. Prince Iroh has lost his son and I deem it fitting that you be named your uncle's son…and next Crown Prince."

Zuko didn't say anything for a while. Everything was just washed out by a roaring of horror in his mind and the pain of admitting that Azula had been right. She had been telling the truth. Grandfather really _was_ trying to destroy their family by sending them their separate ways. That preposterous notion hadn't been so preposterous after all. The Fire Lord had just named the next Crown Prince and altered the line of succession. Grandfather was old and everybody knew that Uncle would soon take his place. Nobody voiced it, but everybody knew it. But Uncle wasn't young either and while he might rule well for another twenty years or so, the throne would most likely move on to the next heir's hands after so short a time. It was that next Crown Prince people were watching for and suddenly, Zuko was now that person.

The enormity of such a heavy responsibility weighed on Zuko for a moment before it caved to his anger. Grandfather had been the cause of his mother's disappearance and was the cause of his father's new grief. He was the reason why Zuko's family was now in shambles so soon after hearing of Lu Ten's death. Zuko couldn't trust his grandfather. His grandfather was the one causing all of this pain and hatred's cold grip wormed its way around Zuko's heart.

Zuko wanted nothing more than to stand up and shout in fury. He wanted to lunge at his grandfather and demand why he was so cruel, why he was doing this. But he knew he couldn't and that was why he sat quietly in place, actually taking Azula's advice and accepting the Fire Lord's decision.

"It must be difficult to completely take in," his grandfather said, breaking the silence. "But do not worry, I am sure Prince Iroh, your new father, will teach you of your new position and I will personally employ new tutors to ensure your success."

Zuko didn't want this. All he wanted was his mother, his father's approval, and a sister not so hell-bent on outshining him in every aspect of life. All he wanted was a happy family and acceptance. He didn't want power or prestige. They were only sweets to be indulged in after achieving his main goals first. But it seemed like the spirits had a personal vendetta against him and gave him everything he didn't want.

"You find this arrangement suitable, do you not?"

Zuko jerked out of his thoughts and stoically nodded. "I…If you deem it the appropriate action then I will do as you command, my lord."

The new heir to the throne was surprised to see sadness overtake his grandfather's features at his words. "Zuko, I know this must be difficult for you. I know that, especially with your mother…" The Fire Lord pursed his lips. "Just know that in this situation, I trust you. I trust that you know what is right…and what is wrong."

Zuko bit his lips. He wouldn't take that as a compliment. He wouldn't. This was the same man who had split his family. This was the same man who had made his mother a fugitive. This wasn't somebody he could take at face value.

When Zuko didn't reply, the Fire Lord sighed and said, "You are dismissed, Prince Zuko. The rest of the nation shall know by tonight of your new position. I will have the palace servants help you move your belongings to a new room and a new schedule sent to you by tomorrow morning."

Zuko bowed and stiffly stood before walking out of the throne room in a haze of disbelief.

As he passed by the back curtains, he heard a rustling and snapped is head around to see Azula exiting from her eavesdropping position and a knowing spark in her eyes.

"Told you so," she smirked.

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**Okay I have to say that I didn't like that chapter at all. I knew what I was going to do and what was going to happen but I just HATE the way I wrote it. I really do. It just doesn't seem to work. Like it's choppy and it really REALLY bugs me. But I wrestled with it for days now and I just can't seem to get it right! *rips at hair* So I just decided to post what I have and go on with the story. Maybe I'll go back and rewrite it to a better standard when brilliance finally hits me. **

**And it took me forever to come up with a reason why Zuko wouldn't tell the Fire Lord about Azula's little truth twisting. At first it was just going to be a blunt out threat from her. But then I realized that Azula is MUCH more devious and evil than that. Outright threatening is for incompetent people who have nothing else than brawn. Azula has brains and used it. **

**So she used their mother and their father to keep Zuko quiet while painting the Fire Lord in an infavorable light. Now Zuko actually trusts her on this because she told the truth and he thinks his grandfather is an old man who is mean and not to be trusted. This kind of sets up the scene for a lot of things that are going to happen later. **

**But I digress, there are flaws in Azula's arguement. A LOT of flaws. But we have to remember that Zuko is vulnerable right now. He's eleven for pete's sake. His beloved cousin just died, his mother is pretty much banished from his life, he faces the possibility that his father might have actually killed him in cold blood, and he is now the next Crown Prince. Fun stuff. So Zuko wants SOMETHING to hold on to, somebody to blame for everything and a reason for it all. Azula gave him that reason: the Fire Lord. **

**He's a child and therefore his thinking skills are a little limited right now. **

**Oh, and editing for grammar and spelling and stuff was kind of nonexistent here so if I messed up sorry about that Xl **

**And Iroh? Well he'll show up soon :)**

**OH and I actually decided to have several parts to this story. So I now label my chapters :D**


	6. Part 1: Not a Morning to Remember

**I do not own anything that could get me sued. **

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**Part 1: Not a Morning to Remember**

Zuko opened his eyes as the sun began to peek its head over the horizon. He could feel his inner flame reacting to it and a deep sense of warmth and strength infused his body. It was like stepping into a warm bath after a chilly day. He enjoyed the nighttime, odd for a firebender. But there was certain coldness to the shadows that made him feel less a prince and more of just another mortal in a world of mortals. It was almost easy to see himself royalty, of higher status than those who toiled in regular labor during the day when the sun fueled his bending and his strength. But at night, the strength was gone and he needed to rely far more on his simple physical prowess. It was slightly humbling to experience a portion of what non-benders lived like.

But when the sun returned, Zuko always welcomed it and he couldn't help but smile each and every time. This morning was no exception but the smile disappeared as quickly as it had come as the last few days suddenly came back to him.

Zuko pulled himself into a sitting position and stared at his blankets. It was strange to see the expanse of his bed so much larger than it had been before. In his peripheral vision, he could see the slightly darker shade of the floor and the solid gold decorations that lined the bedposts. His sheets were made of even finer silk, from the best silkworms of the Tzu Province, and the robes he was wearing were made of the same material with gold thread now lining his sleeves and collar, dictating his new status. He shivered and pressed his palms to his eyes to avoid looking at them.

He wasn't in his room anymore. As luxurious as his old bedroom had been, it had only been the bedroom of a son of the Second Prince in a private villa further away from the heart of the palace. This room was considerably different and just a hallway down from the Firelord's own.

This was the bedroom of the Crown Prince's new son.

Zuko groaned and wished that when he removed his palms, everything would just disappear and be would be okay. Maybe Mom would walk in and say good morning or Azula might poke her head in to jeer at his bedhead. Anything would be better than opening his eyes and realizing that this was all real, that there was no going back.

His hopes were shattered when the door opened to reveal not one, not two, not three, but _four_ servants enter, fully prepared to answer every whim of their new Prince. It took Zuko a great deal of self-control not to moan again. Just yesterday he had only one maid for daily service and three at most when preparing for important events like an audience with the Firelord. Now he had a norm of four for mundane tasks and who knows how many for formal occasions.

Then, to Zuko's complete horror, all four immediately prostrated themselves before him once inside the room. He had never had anybody do such a thing for him before. At most, some maids had bowed at the waist. It almost embarrassed him to have them so respectful when he was only half awake, his hair a complete mess, and his robes in disarray. The complete truth of it all sank into him as he stared blankly at their positions and he wanted to just jump up screaming that he wasn't a prince, that he wasn't ready for any of this. Everything was moving too quickly for him to comprehend.

"Good morning, Prince Zuko," one said, forehead still to the floor. "On behalf of all of us, I must congratulate you on your new position. It will be our honor to serve you."

_Prince Zuko._ Grandfather had called him that yesterday, as he was walking out, but hearing the actual title from another's lips slammed into him like a ton of bricks. Zuko could only gape blankly for a long moment before he snapped his jaw shut and managed to say, "Thank you."

When they didn't move, Zuko bit his lips. "Uh…and please rise. I – you don't need to bow to me like that." As he noticed one of the maid's lips open to reply, he quickly added, "At least not from now on." He smiled shakily. "It would just be bothersome first thing in the morning, wouldn't it?"

The servants now had their heads up, almost gaping at him before the first maid who had spoken smiled back and introduced herself. "Thank you, Prince Zuko. My name is Hua and I shall be your hairdresser."

Another maid to Hua's right spoke next. Zuko noticed how tall she seemed which was odd for females. Her face was long and severe, the ideal schoolteacher look. "My name is Meili, Prince Zuko. I shall be your clothes coordinator."

"Prince, my name is Ting and I shall be cleaning your room and clothing," smiled a third. Her hair seemed a dark shade of brown as if the complete black shade that all Fire Nation residents sported had been suntanned out of her. It was understandable, Zuko reasoned. After all, the cleaning sector had no shade in order for clothes and other cleanable objects to dry quickly.

The last servant was noticeably shorter and smaller than the rest, the complete opposite of Meili. He was the definition of petite and the only male out of the four who had entered. Had he been female, he might have been rather beautiful for feet were small and his skin like porcelain, something many women probably envied. "My name is Qi. I shall keep track of your schedule for you and your appointments." He pulled a scroll from one of her sleeves and a stylus from another. "I shall come every morning and every evening to verify and remind you of certain deadlines, invitations, or meetings that you might wish to address, attend, or decline." His voice was prompt, quick, strong, and to the point – quite a contradiction to his stature.

Zuko nodded once. "Thank you. I suppose I will be getting to know you four very well." A wry grin touched his lips.

Hua laughed stood up with the other three. "That, you will."

A thought struck Zuko as he threw off his covers and clambered out of bed. It made him feel sick and a wash of grief rolled over him. "You weren't…Lu Ten's servants by any chance, were you?"

Meili answered in a curt voice. "Of course not. It goes against protocol to send another's servants." She made it sound as if that explained everything and when none of the other three said anything otherwise, Zuko supposed that it did.

"So," he blushed, "how exactly do we start?"

"Normally Ting would be the first in to wake you and clean the room as you freshen yourself up," Hua supplied. "And it might take us a few days, but we'll know how long it should normally take you to do so and Meili would come in next to inform you of the proper attire for the day. I would be after that to get your hair into shape and Qi could come anytime between Meili and me to inform you about your schedule."

Who would have known that being a prince would be so tiring? Zuko had barely been awake ten minutes and already he felt as if his brain was overloading. In a way, he was grateful for it. All of this kept his mind busy, occupied, and away from thoughts like his mother's treason and his Grandfather's agenda to destroy his family. He couldn't stop and have all those memories take over when it was filled with new information. It kept the memory of the last few days at bay and, for now, Zuko was just happy for that.

The only part of the morning that Zuko got right was during his time alone, freshening up. The rest of the morning's preparations could only be described as his own, personal humiliation set-up. He was utterly confused by the descriptions that Meili spoke of. He knew of day-to-day attire and formal attire, but who had ever heard of breakfast, lunch, supper, resting, training, and active attire? And that was only one-twentieth of the many sets of clothes that he had to now become accustomed to. It baffled his mind that anybody could possibly need that many varieties.

At least Hua's hairdressing and Ting's cleaning had been standard for him. Those had been things he had grown up with and sitting still in place for somebody to tie his hair wasn't that difficult a task to complete in the first place. But add a session of Qi rattling off a hundred different meetings, appointments, and lessons and he was completely lost again. He had to ask his scheduler to repeat everything three times before he had gotten it committed to memory.

By the time he was alone again, Zuko's head was actually spinning a bit from it all. Did Lu Ten have to grow up with this? It was a wonder he hadn't gone insane! At least his schedule wasn't that different from his old one. The only changes he had were completely new tutors for his lessons and a few hours every day dedicated to informing him of his new responsibilities as the Crown Prince's son.

That, and now he could no longer eat dinner with his family anymore. Now he was to eat dinner with Uncle (he wasn't prepared to call him Father quite yet) and Grandfather.

Which, in combination with his full schedule, meant that he would only see Azula and Father during special events.

It hadn't really meant much at first. Zuko had been too busy trying to absorb everything Qi was spitting out. But now that he had time to actually recognize what he had memorized, Zuko felt lost and angry. What right did the Firelord have to separate him from his family like this? He was already distant from them already. Now that he was practically heir to the throne and scheduled differently, he would only become more ostracized.

The thought made his chest constrict and he had to bite his lips to keep himself under control. He couldn't start thinking about that now. He had to actually get through this first before allowing himself any sort of leniency. The only way he could get this done was if he kept busy and away from any reminders.

Which was pretty difficult now that all of his clothing was accented with gold and the new weight of a solid flame ornament was now tied to his topknot.

Zuko grit his teeth and forced his feet to take him out of his new room and into the corridor beyond. Keep busy, he told himself. Keep busy and you won't have to remember.

~0~

He was a little startled to arrive at the dining room's double doors so quickly. After eleven years here, his feet had almost memorized the layout of the palace.

The imperial firebenders standing before the door seemed emotionless as they tilted their masked faces to glance down at him. They wore armor completely painted red to place them above the other soldiers and carried a single spear more for appearances than anything else. Zuko knew they never learned to use it. Firebending was an art that many proclaimed was more than enough for battle. For a bender to pick up a weapon was considered lowly and a testament to their own weak prowess with the gifts he/she had been born with. Zuko, of course, thought this nonsense (especially since he was relatively proficient in his Dao swords) but he didn't dare to voice his opinion for fear of further disdain.

Zuko couldn't tell what was going on beneath those skull-like masks but they moved aside without a word and opened the doors to gain him access. He hesitated just the slightest bit before he straightened his back and walked inside the grand dining room with all the dignity he could muster. It unnerved him that he would be alone with his grandfather until Uncle returned but he definitely wasn't going to show it.

The entire dining room was large with a tasteful mixture of gold and crimsons. The pillars that lined the sides were intricately carved with dragons and a long, low table occupied the center of the room. A red mat with cushions lined the perimeter of it for diners to seat themselves and a beautiful arrangement of peonies and lotus buds to match the season. The whole north wall, made entirely of glass, welcomed the rising sun's brilliant rays and added the final touch to make the royal dining venue almost ethereal.

Zuko couldn't help but sigh in relief upon seeing nobody else in the room yet. He would have time to seat himself and prepare for his grandfather's presence.

Except, now that he thought about it, he wasn't so sure where exactly he was supposed to sit.

It was tradition for one's firstborn to be seated at one's right hand. In this case, it meant that Zuko was meant to sit two cushions away from the Firelord since Uncle would normally occupy the seat closest to Grandfather. But etiquette dictated that it was rude to leave any of the Firelord's surrounding seats empty when they could be filled. Since Uncle wasn't back yet, following etiquette would mean seating himself at Grandfather's right hand. There was nothing, however, dictating what he should do in a situation where etiquette and tradition clashed. Or maybe there was and Zuko just didn't remember it.

He bit his bottom lip. Zuko had a fifty-fifty chance but chance had never favored him. He was almost positive that if he chose one, the other would have been the correct choice. That was just how much Zuko had come to realize fate and luck hated him.

But he didn't have any more time to agonize over it as he heard the doors creaking open. Zuko glanced towards the entrance in sudden panic. He had to decide now! How silly would he look standing here like a dumbstruck fool? He didn't think before hurriedly seating himself at the cushion closest to the Firelord's.

As the Firelord stepped inside, Zuko noticed that his grandfather was dressed as impeccably as he always was. His royal robes draped about him with a sense of regal power and he stood with poise despite his old age. He waved away the guards who had made to follow inside and Zuko was left alone in a room with the nation's Lord.

To Zuko's astonishment, the very first thing his grandfather did once they were alone was walk up to the north wall and bow with his forehead to the floor.

Zuko stood up in surprise and gaped. The Firelord bowed to nothing! "My lord –"

"Agni is the ultimate lord of the land," his grandfather said, his voice strong but gentle. "It is only proper that I, only a mere mortal, bow to him every morning."

Zuko was half standing, unsure whether he should join or remain where he was. It was strange to hear something so…modest coming from the most powerful firebender in the world. He would have never thought, in a thousand years, that the Firelord would place himself beneath anything. Zuko had always revered Agni. He had always personally thought the sun the ultimate lord (after all, how else did they firebend?) but he had thought nobody else shared his sentiments. Half of the time he had felt like a traitor because he did not think the Firelord the highest in the land. Now, his grandfather was telling him that eleven years of worrying over such a thing had been pointless. The Firelord himself shared Zuko's belief and that made him feel comforted and understood. In that moment, as his grandfather prostrated himself like any other mere Fire Nation citizen, Zuko felt a strange connection between them.

But the feeling was quickly crushed as Azula's words from yesterday returned to him. He couldn't trust his grandfather, no matter how nicely he painted himself. For all Zuko knew, this could all just be a ploy.

"Come, Prince Zuko. Why do you stand there so?"

The new prince jolted out of his thoughts and obeyed before he could register the words. He was by his grandfather's side a moment later and he bowed before the sun.

The traitorous feeling of comfort returned to Zuko as he knelt there with the Firelord. The sun's comforting power and warmth relaxed him and his grandfather's presence was, for a lack of words, non-threatening. Zuko couldn't help but think that he had never felt this way with his own father before. With his father, he had always felt tense, poised for criticism. With the man who had destroyed his family, he felt like he could be himself and not be reprimanded for it.

What in Agni's name was wrong with him?

The Firelord took in a deep and raised himself into a standing position before bowing once more, his hands forming the Flame. Zuko hastily copied his grandfather's actions before returning back to his seat at the table.

He had just settled into the cushion when an amused voice, so unlike any Zuko had heard from anybody other than his mother, chuckled, "Prince Zuko…I didn't know that you preferred the left side of the table."

Zuko flushed a deep red. How stupid of him! He should have known where he was sitting! This was just humiliating. He cringed inwardly at the oncoming lecture. He was supposed to remember everything he had learned.

But, to his further shock, the Firelord only smiled a bit at his grandson's mistake and motioned to his right. "Everybody makes mistakes."

Ugh. There went that strange feeling of warmth and safety again. It made him feel guilty to take such happiness from all this. But how could he help himself? Nobody had ever brushed off his absentmindedness like this before. Only his mother had ever done so. Why was his grandfather making it so hard to hate him?

As soon as Zuko was finally seated in the correct place, servants appeared from hidden doorways carrying plates laden with food as if by some unheard signal. He gulped as enormous portion of fresh fowl arrived in front of him with a hearty serving of rice to the side. There was nothing else because breakfast was meant to be a light meal, but the idea of having a whole fowl (given, it was small) to himself seemed a bit much. Back in his old life, he had equally luxurious foods but the thought of eating so well made him feel sick today. Grief over his cousin's death and his mother's disappearance had desecrated his appetite.

A few minutes passed as he tried to finish his meal in relative silence but he only managed to complete a quarter of it all before he felt like his stomach would explode. Zuko fiddled his chopsticks around the rice to in an attempt to make it appear smaller in portion and his fowl a little more eaten but it soon became obvious after ten minutes that he was getting nowhere with his food.

His grandfather cleared his throat and Zuko glanced up in alarm, sure that he would be admonished for his poor eating habits.

"I'm sorry, my lord, but it seems like I don't feel quite well today and –"

"Prince Zuko," the Firelord said in a calm but silencing tone. "Please do not presume to know what I am about to say before I say it." Zuko clamped his mouth shut and sat with his hands clenched in his lap. "I did had no intention of reprimanding you for your appetite." A sort of quirk lifted the Firelord's lips again. "You can't control your stomach capacity, can you? Just remember, though, that while I will not force you to finish your meal, I expect you to think about the people who worked to prepare and raise the animals and crops necessary for this. It is the fruit of their toils."

Zuko's cheeks were flaming red. "I apologize, my lord."

"It is quite alright. I only wanted to remind you."

That strange feeling of comfort returned and Zuko suddenly wanted to escape this room, escape his grandfather who was being anything but what he had expected. He had thought everything would be akin to a meal with his father, formal and perfection expected. But the Firelord had gone and done everything but portray that. He was, indeed formal, but it was neither stiff nor uncomfortable. It had a sort of nobility to it that only befitted one of such power and he hadn't expected perfection at all. He had seen Zuko fumble through the morning without so much as an uncharacteristic grin.

What business did the Firelord have smiling in amusement so much anyway?

"May I be excused?" he asked abruptly and curtly.

His grandfather looked at him for a long moment. "Are you sure, Prince Zuko? Perhaps if you need to discuss your new schedule or your new duties? I would be willing to speak with you. I am freest in the mornings and evenings."

Zuko's heart clenched and he desperately gasped out, "Thank you for the offer, my lord, but may I be excused?"

The older man let out a heavy sigh before nodding. "You are excused, Prince Zuko."

The Firelord had barely finished uttering his permission before the new Prince dashed out of the room as if a komodo rhino were at his very heels.

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**Yup, that was sort of a filler chapter. But I had to start off his life as a prince somehow right? **

**And Azulon...I have no idea where I got the idea that he might actually be "good" (and he isn't - he still had some questionable beliefs) but something about the way he defended Iroh in canon made him seem not as cruel as one might expect a descendent of Sozin's line to be. **

**It might seem strange that Azulon is suddenly almost _nice_ to Zuko. But he was always like this. It's just that all those other times we saw him, he was either furious at his second son or speaking to his grandson after nearly being killed by his daughter in law. The last scene I wrote is when he is alone with his grandchild with nobody there to see. So he was more lenient and forgiving than he probably would have been had he been in public. But he really does love his family (even Ozai) so I actually rather like his character :)**

**You might want to remember the names of Zuko's four permanent servants. They aren't going to be minor secondary characters. **

**Oh, I didn't edit. Again. Because I'm a lazy bum. Xl **

******Iroh next chapter! But he won't be quite as jolly as we knew him canon...**


	7. Part 1: A Lotus in the Night

**I do not own anything that will get me sued.**

**And thanks to all my reviewers! You guys make my day :)**

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**Part 1: A Lotus in the Night**

"Long day, Prince?" asked Hua as she undid his knot. Her soft, kind voice soothed Zuko's overworked mind and he relaxed into the chair he was seated in.

"It was difficult," Zuko conceded.

Meili shuffled a bit in the background, apparently debating on what he should wear to sleep (of all things). "It's expected," she murmured, distracted. "It is a new position, my lord."

That was about the understatement of the century. Zuko had no idea that being a Prince would make everything so much more tiring. When he walked in the halls now, _everybody_ stared at him. They appraised him, giving him looks they would give a new purchase of some sort. It unnerved him and he tried to walk as fast as dignifiedly possible through the halls to avoid the attention. They seemed to be trying to see why the Firelord had chosen the failure as a potential ruler and while it was too early for them to say much, Zuko was almost sure the scholars and nobles were making bets on how long it would be before he broke down under the pressure. They had done the same years ago when he still hadn't yet made his first flame.

Even the tutors he had now were completely different from the ones he had for years. Before, he was comfortable enough to daydream when the subject proved to be too dull for his liking. He honestly tried to keep his attention in place, but the droning voices of the scholars his father had hired often put him to sleep more than they did educate.

The tutors Zuko had been assigned now as Prince were completely different animals. What had once been an easy class to sleep through was now a grueling test to his mental capacities and he dared not allow his mind to dawdle lest he find himself sharply reprimanded and more work to be finished. He had received the same before but, somehow, his new tutors made everything seem more real. Every piece of information as like a shard of glass placed into his care: beautiful, delicate to care for, and sharp enough to injure if dropped and forgotten.

Yet it wasn't necessarily all negatively directed.

History (one of Zuko's least favorite) had been a great story after another. The great feats of past generals and the subtle workings of the politics that lead from one thing to another were told in such a way that Zuko _wanted_ to pay attention. Even when the subject had lingered on the reasons why certain things happened and how it affected the rest of the nation and world, the lesson had been more a discussion between himself and his history master than a monotone explanation. His new teacher had forced him to pay attention because if he failed to catch even one snippet of information, he fell to floundering during the intense questions and conversations they had conducted following the lesson. Rather than being a burden to Zuko, it had been more a game. A game of how much he could remember and extract from the information to battle his tutor in a battle of words and theories.

The same could be said for all of his other subjects. Each and every one of his new instructors quickly found what kept Zuko engaged and, while he was loathe to admit it, he had actually enjoyed the classes. It was unnerving to find them so intriguing already. It had only been a day and Zuko could already tell he would like his lessons far more than he once did.

But that didn't, by any means, make the workload any easier. The classes might have been more interesting, but the amount of work he had to do seemed to have increased tenfold. By the time he was out of his private tutoring rooms, Zuko was almost staggering with the sheer amount of assignments he had to accomplish. He thought he had it hard before. Now he had less time and more work to finish.

"I'm sure the workload will improve over time," Hua soothed. "You just have to get used to it. I'm sure the Firelord is easing you into the position."

Zuko shuddered at that thought. If this was _easing in_ than he was worried to see what the actual job of Prince entailed.

As Hua finished with his hair and Meili left with his clothes left on the neat bed already cleaned by Ting, Zuko calmed his aching muscles in a quick, warm bath before dressing and reaching for his assignments. It pained him to have to begin his work already, but he honestly had no choice. Zuko still had about two hours before he should go to bed and if he wanted to arrive prepared for tomorrow's lessons, he would have to start his assignments now if he was to have any hope of finishing. It almost depressed him because this was normally time to himself but if this was what he would have to do, than Zuko supposed that this was what he would have to do. In a way, all of this work was good for him. This way, he'd be too busy and too tired to think about his mother and his cousin.

He was just finishing his history summary with a flourish of his wrist when a thin hand gently rested upon his shoulder. Zuko reacted out of years of training and had the person straddled between his legs on the ground with a knife to the person's throat before he could even register that he had finished the last character on the paper.

"M – ah – my Prince?" Qi weakly croaked out.

Zuko blinked uncomprehendingly for a split second before he abruptly jolted off his servant and slipped the knife back into its sheath inside his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Qi. I…didn't know it was you."

"It's quite alright," the man replied, pulling himself up and picking up the scroll and ink pen he had dropped. "I should have known better than to startle you like that, Prince. Everybody knows the royal family is well trained."

Zuko was grateful that there were only the few candles around his workplace to illuminate his room. The darkness of the prevailing shadows covered his rapidly reddening cheeks at the indirect compliment. "Still, I apologize."

He was startled to see a semblance of a grin quirk Qi's lips before it disappeared as quickly as it had come.

"Prince, I apologize for coming at so late an hour but I had some information to gather and certain schedules to accommodate for yours. I didn't expect to see you still up, though. It is well past midnight."

Zuko's mouth opened a little in surprise and he quickly felt for the sun's position. Indeed, it was well past midnight. He had intended to go to sleep an hour ago. Had the time really flown that quickly when he was working?

"Oh…well I suppose I might as well hear what you have to say then."

Qi nodded and motioned towards the seat Zuko had been seated in. "Please sit, my lord. This might take a bit."

The only upside to the outrageously long list his servant recited from the scroll was that Zuko had it memorized with only two tries this time.

Zuko grinned at the thought and Qi noticed it.

"Did something amuse you, Prince?"

"It was nothing," Zuko replied. "It's just…it's still rather surreal. All of this."

Zuko didn't know what made him say it. Maybe it was his tired mind or maybe it was just the fact that he was finally alone with somebody male around ten years of his age, somebody who could possibly relate that he had spoken so leniently.

Qi was silent for a long moment as if contemplating whether he should reply or not but he finally said, "I can't say exactly because I'm fairly sure I'm not Prince but I can imagine. It must have been…hard for you."

"It was," Zuko pursed his lips and suddenly the memories he had been trying to avoid came rushing to the forefront of his mind. "I – I just think it's so strange for _me_ to be here, to be the next heir. They expect _me_ to rule one day and…"

Qi sighed. "I honestly can't say what will happen but I think you will make it." He smiled a little. "You managed to memorize the schedule faster the second time around a little faster."

The sudden relation to his previous thoughts made Zuko laugh aloud and soon, the both of them were laughing. They didn't really know why. Was it the absurdity of a Prince and servant suddenly conversing in the dead hours of the night? Zuko didn't know but it felt good to laugh, good to finally allow himself to feel something after everything he had gone through. By the time he quieted down, silent tears were falling down his cheeks and he couldn't quite say whether they were of mirth or grief.

Zuko knew Qi could see the tears in the light of the candles now that they were closer to his working desk but he found that he didn't really care. It must have been the shadows that addled his mind but he didn't really see Qi as a servant more than he did just another boy to talk to.

"Thank you, Qi," he murmured. "I…I will see you in the morning."

Qi looked at him in surprise. "But, Prince, I thought I just told you your schedule?"

Zuko grinned. "I'll see you in the morning."

His servant looked at him blankly for another long moment before a genuine smile broke his normally stern visage and he bowed low before quietly exiting the room.

When he was alone once again, Zuko sighed and gently snuffed out the fire burning away the candle wax. He conjured another flame, cradled within his cupped palms to light his way to the bed and watched it die away as he nestled himself in soft blankets.

Zuko stared blankly at the canopy of his bed and brought forth a picture of his mother in his mind. Her pale skin, her gentle lips, her comforting embrace…

He grit his teeth as tears threatened to fall again and he shifted harshly on the bed in an effort to occupy himself. As he did so, he heard the distinct sound of paper crinkling and he curiously allowed his hands to wander about in search of the noise. He welcomed the distraction from his thoughts but felt nothing on his blankets. He heard the noise again as he shifted and pinpointed it to be in his sleeping robe pocket. Zuko felt for it and his fingers soon grasped a small, piece of folded paper.

Even in the darkness he could feel its outline and the shaped it formed: a lotus.

* * *

**Okay, first thing's first: I know this is a pathetically short chapter. Especially for so long away :( I was in Chicago for the majority of last week though so I didn't really get a chance to get much written up. I wanted to get a lot done on the plane but I sort of found out that I'm allergic to tiny, cramped spaces. So I spent the time sneezing and trying to sleep. **

**Anyway, the rest of the chapter will come later as chapter 8. I initially planned on having his part as the first section of a larger chapter but since I've left you guys hanging for so long I decided to dangle this out :) **

**Iroh comes next chapter! YAY :D **

**And no, this was not edited. It was pretty much written in the stupor of jetlag (sort of) so if it sounds choppy, lame, and wordy please attest it to my lingering allergies. Allegra, here I come. **


	8. Part 1: The Mask

**Holy cow. I think all of you have a right to spear me alive right now. Because it had been FOREVER since I've updated this story. I really am sorry you guys. I hate it when other writers take forever to update but I suppose that just makes me a hypocrite huh?**

**Anyways this is an _IMPORTANT NOTE: THIS IS ANOTHER VERSION OF CHAPTER 8. I HAVE DELETED THE PREVIOUS VERSION AND REPLACED IT WITH THIS ONE._ I believe this will improve the story and I really really really hated my writing in the last one. **

**Thank you to all of my reviewers again and I truly appreciate all of your support (even though I make you guys wait forever)!**

* * *

**Part 1: The Mask**

Zuko quietly fingered the small piece of folded paper as he sat upright in his bed with the first rays of the sun tickling his face. He gingerly ran his hands about the delicate petals and he marveled at how well it was made. The color was queer though and he was a little amused to see that it was not a white lotus, but a black one. Who had ever heard of a black lotus?

Zuko grasped the edge of it and carefully began to unfold it. He was interested to see how one made an origami lotus. Never before had he seen one so intricately made. Maybe he could mimic the folds and make a lotus of his own. It was a little strange to find such a trinket in his sleeping robes but perhaps one of his servants wanted to lighten his mood. The thought made Zuko smile and he felt a little less heavy than he had the night before.

Just as he finished unfolding the entire paper flower, he noticed the smallest of blemishes in the corner of the last petal he had unveiled and brought the black paper closer. He stared at it for a few moments before he finally realized that it was not a blemish, but an intentional mark in white ink. It was almost too small to decipher, but Zuko could just barely make out the message.

Congratulations, Prince.

A small smile touched Zuko's lips and suddenly the idea of being Prince wasn't so bad. Of course, there would be dissenters and those who wished him to be gone but there were also those who saw him and didn't completely think him useless. It was most likely one of his servants who felt obligated to serve and make him comfortable but the feeling of such encouragement made Zuko feel lighthearted in his predicament.

~0~

The next few weeks were more of a blur than anything else for Zuko. His grandfather had, thankfully, been absent during many of his meals. The Firelord had been scarce and Zuko gratefully finished his food free from such a fierce gaze. His grandfather honestly unsettled him and he was often confused in the man's presence. The strange moments of understanding obviously contrasted everything Zuko knew about the Firelord yet he found himself almost wanting to believe it all true; he didn't want to believe that his grandfather was determined to ruin his second son's family but all of the proof was there. Zuko couldn't ignore nor forget.

His lessons continued to be fruitful – in other words, incredibly demanding. His tutors never relented and soon, Zuko found himself forced to alter the way he had been working. Before his transition to Prince, his life had been one large mess. And that included his academic life. There was no doubt that his current tutors had heard the horror tales of the "hopeless failure" and the "lazy good-for-nothing", but they never deviated from their determination to transform Zuko into the honorable Prince he should be. There was a zealousness that occupied their very embodiments and Zuko couldn't help be swept up in it.

His teachers honestly loved what they taught and that gigantic dedication rubbed off on the newly made Prince. It was very difficult to remain disinterested when his tutors often broke out in passionate rants regarding their subjects.

So after a couple of weeks, Zuko had been forced to completely renovate his methods of studying and spending his free time – if he had any free time to spend anymore. Just as he had the first night as Prince, Zuko now spent almost every waking moment outside of his lessons completing his assignments.

Yet, in all honesty, things were getting easier. That routine of constant working had become just that: a routine. Zuko was far from efficient in his new life yet, but he had begun to feel less and less stress when finishing his workload. Even the never-ending stream of it had ceased to be such a novel experience.

The only lesson that he truly still struggled in was the one regarding his Firebending.

"No, Prince, breathe deeper, stronger!" the deep, bellowing voice of his master commanded. "You cannot form anything more than a spark with that!"

Zuko stood, gasping and sweating in the middle of his own, private practicing courtyard. At first, the idea of a private courtyard had been a relief; nobody could pass and giggle at his mishaps any longer. But Zuko quickly realized that such isolation also allowed his teacher more privacy to enforce his strict demands. His new instructor was the only one out of his many new ones that had not quite changed in attitude or teaching style from his last.

He straightened into his beginning stance again and breathed, about to begin. But as soon as he so much as twitched a muscle, his master interrupted again.

"No, no! You must gain more strength, more _fire_ in your muscles before beginning! You cannot begin with such a slack stance! You need more passion, more fury!"

Zuko wanted to snap back that his master had more than enough of said passion for the both of them but he knew better than to do so. Instead, he closed his eyes and tried to summon up such strength. He tried to imagine his fiery energy flowing through him, amassing and preparing before the strike. His master had mentioned fury. Maybe if he tried to get mad…

The angry and frustrated sigh from his teacher dissipated Zuko's concentration and whatever grasp he had begun to manage on his bending followed it.

"We are getting nowhere," the man growled out. "Perhaps tomorrow your complete incompetence will be slightly less noticeable. Now get out of my sight. I do not need a headache on the day of the Fire Festival."

Zuko didn't hesitate to obey; he wanted to get out of his Firebending teacher's presence just as much as the man did. The Prince quickly bowed and disappeared into the intricate halls of the Palace.

It was only when Zuko neared his bedroom did he realize and remember that today _was_ the day of the Fire Festival. He had been so engrossed in his studies and his duties that he had completely forgotten to keep track of which day was which. Then the strange notion that he had spent an entire holiday _studying _made him sigh. Apparently, a Prince didn't even have days like this off; nobody had even mentioned what today was until his Firebending tutor had absently commented on it.

Zuko opened the doors to his chambers and raised his eyebrows when he saw his daily scheduler standing inside. "Qi?"

The older teen – bordering on manhood – immediately sank into a low bow. "I apologize, my Prince. I did not know you would be back so soon."

"What's there to be sorry for?" Zuko's lips quirked up in humor despite his trying and exhausting lesson just a few minutes ago. He had gotten to know his servants well enough; it was difficult not to when he saw them every single day. Out of all of them, Qi had turned out to be the one he spoke to most often and the one he usually spoke his mind to. For a stiff-necked scholar Qi was pretty good company.

The scheduler grinned a little in embarrassment. "I didn't exactly complete your plans for the rest of the day yet."

Zuko untied his topknot and stepped towards his private bath. "I thought it was the same? Nothing has truly changed much since we started."

"Today is the Fire Festival. There was supposed to be some different activities to celebrate the day after your lessons but I hadn't quite gotten to mapping them out quite yet. The other servants have plans for the Firelord but I had wanted to do something different for you –"

"Why don't I just go to the town's festival?" Zuko asked. "It's just outside the palace and it wouldn't require any planning at all." And it had been the same one he had been attending since his childhood. Just last year, his mother had taken him there, back when Lu Ten had been alive too.

Qi looked a little uncomfortable. "Well, my Lord, those celebrations are a little…"

"I used to go all of the time. It is a great event, isn't it?"

"It is, but it is very uncommon for the immediate royal family to attend."

Zuko froze in the middle of untying one of the knots securing his clothes. He had forgotten. Of course the immediate royal family never attended. The rest of the royal family did; they were not so well known. But for somebody of his current status, staying in the Palace and celebrating away from the "common" rabble was expected. Going down to the local town and walking amongst the citizens just would have been strange.

Zuko bit his lips. "Oh. Right."

Qi frowned sympathetically. "Prince, if you would like, I could perhaps plan some time with the Firelord –"

"It's alright." Zuko turned to smile at his scheduler. "Thank you for putting so much thought into it though, Qi. It means a lot." He turned back and continued with his knot. "I think I'll just work tonight. I can't afford to fall behind already. I'm still new to this."

"Are you sure? It wouldn't be any trouble for me."

"Just go and have fun tonight, okay?" Zuko said with a sad smile. "You're supposed to celebrate too. And tell the same to Hua, Meili, and Ting. All of you deserve some time to yourselves."

Qi clearly wasn't satisfied with his Prince's answer, but it was clear in Zuko's tone that the subject was closed. So the scheduler bowed once more with murmured thanks before walking out and closing the door behind him.

As soon as Qi was gone, Zuko flung himself into his first self-prepared bath since the declaration of his new status. He didn't bother with the scented oils or the petals that always accented his cleansing nowadays; he just sank himself into the water, boiling it with his inner fire as he closed his eyes.

He had never spent a Fire Festival day alone before. He had always had some member of his family close by whether it be his cousin, uncle, or mother. He had always taken the day off to just amble about and he had always gone down to the town to taste some fire flakes made by the street vendors and watch the small puppet plays that littered the corners. It was one of the few days that he was ever allowed down among the commoners and it was one of his favorite days because of that. He rarely ever got to experience what it was like outside of the royal court but when he did, he reveled in it. Azula had always hated being exposed to "those filthy lowlifes" but Zuko had always found their freedom and their casual mannerisms intriguing.

That didn't mean he disliked life as a member of the royal family. That definitely wasn't it. He was proud to be a member of Sozin's line and one of the few who ever received the honor of living his whole life practically among the relics of victories past. He was privileged and had wealth at his fingertips that few could ever hope to achieve in their lifetime.

Yet sometimes, Zuko couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like to be born into one of the common families.

He sighed and breathed some bubbles into the water. He should stop being such a child; he was a Prince now. He had to man up and realize that life couldn't continue the same way it had been before. He was supposed to be responsible and take it with dignity and honor.

Zuko let out a frustrated groan. Who was he kidding? It had only been a few weeks for Agni's sake! Just a few weeks ago he was just the second Prince's son, a nobody in relative terms. How was he supposed to deal with all of this? How fair was it that he was deprived of the one day that the entire Fire Nation celebrated? How lucky was he to be stuck in his room on the night when fireworks decorated the sky and candies of all sorts were available?

Zuko pursed his lips. Well, he _had_ instructed Qi to leave him for the rest of the day and he had also told Qi to inform the rest of his servants to take the day off as well. Nobody entered his quarters except for those four and perhaps nobody would miss the fact that the Prince had missed just _one_ dinner. Nobody was looking for him and nobody would be looking for him. Nobody would notice if he just left right now…

The Fire Nation's prince abruptly pulled himself out of his bath and drained the water. He warmed himself dry with a quick burst of heat from his skin and wrapped a towel around his waist. Searching through his extensive wardrobe, Zuko finally managed to salvage simple, black clothes that would allow his body easy movement and flexibility. It was a miracle, really, that he managed to find it among his countless other silks and expensive dressings.

He quickly pulled the clothes on and glanced about, as if somebody would come barging in any moment. What was he doing? Was he really going to just do this? What if he as caught? What if somebody saw him? But as these doubts and questions ran through his head, his body seemed to move on its own, strapping a dark pair of boots on his feet and sliding his Dao swords on to his back – just in case.

Before Zuko could finally convince himself that this was stupid and that he really, really, _really_ shouldn't be doing this, he was out of his window and dashing out of the palace grounds.

~0~

It was by pure luck that he hadn't gotten himself caught by now. Of that, Zuko was absolutely sure. He wasn't used to sneaking about; most Firebenders weren't. How could they be when bright and ferociously _noticeable_ offense was what they capitalized on? He tried to cling to the shadows and carry his feet as softly as possible but somehow he managed to step on every single possible noisemaker that could exist in a palace (a loose tile and a stray branch of the normally perfect fire-lily bushes just to name a few). Yet for all of his mishaps, the palace guards didn't notice him or they were too caught up in the festive mood to notice.

Either way, Zuko was surprised to find himself meandering among the excited children and amused adults at the local Fire Festival.

He was fairly sure that if this were any other day, people would be questioning his rather monotone choice of clothes color and his weapons. But most probably looked at him now and just assumed he was another attraction going on a break. That was the beauty of a good, wild celebration.

Zuko was dismayed to realize that he hadn't thought far enough ahead to bring money for the foods offered but he still managed to enjoy himself by watching the plays, the acrobatic demonstrations, and the constant show of fireworks in the air. He was smiling for the first time in weeks and the part of him that wasn't screaming at the stupidity of his decision was glad to be out here. It made him feel warm inside when he saw this many people so happy and content; it made him want to keep them smiling forever.

"Hey, you new here?"

Zuko turned to see a young girl about his age grinning up at him. She was dressed in a simple, cotton gown and her hair was plainly combed to flow down her back but her smile was genuine. "You could say that."

"I haven't seen you around, that's all," the girl smiled. "And I pretty much know everybody here in the capital." She leaned in close as if telling a secret. "Because I keep a tab on things like that, if you know what it mean."

Zuko stared at her in confusion. "Um…okay?"

"My mom says it's great that I make so many friends," she boasted proudly. "I make it my personal business to remember everybody I meet!"

"Really? Why is that?"

"Because it's fun," the girl giggled. "And you need to relax. I'm not _that_ creepy. I just have a good memory."

Zuko crossed his arms. "You're really weird."

"Says the one carrying _swords_ on his back."

Zuko tensed. "I'm a performer."

"Uh huh…I don't think I've seen a sword performance yet around here."

"Then you haven't been looking hard enough."

The girl shrugged and dropped the subject. "Well, I just saw you walking alone and I was wondering if you'd like to wander the rest of the night together? My mom positively loves staring and betting on the Pai Sho games but I think they're more boring to stare at than spending a week in school. I need some real entertainment."

It wasn't everyday that Zuko just had somebody his age ask him to have some fun together. The novelty was so strange that he almost said no because he was so uncomfortable. "Uh…sure?" She only laughed and grasped his arm to pull him about.

Zuko was pleasantly surprised to find that the girl was not that bad of company. She liked to joke a lot and she seemed to know all of the best plays and acts that visited every Fire Festival. They watched some puppetry, magic acts, dragon dancing, juggling, and small light shows. He was almost dragged into a fighting bet because he was carrying his Dao swords and the girl was pulled into a betting game of dice that she promptly won. They ended up splitting the winnings despite the lack of help that Zuko had provided and it turned out that he did manage to enjoy a few of the foods.

"Wow, you really aren't as uptight as you seem at first," the girl smirked as she watched him laugh at one of the comedy acts. "Look! He can smile!"

"I hope Tui and La come and get you in your sleep," Zuko grinned back. He hadn't been this relaxed in a long time. Who knew that this was what it felt like when people actually wanted to talk to him? The closest he had gotten was talking to Qi but even then, there was the barrier of servant and Prince. Here, he was just another person amongst many.

But his temporary relief did not last long. It was while watching a Firebender perform that Zuko heard the dreaded, familiar tone.

"Pathetic. And these people think _this_ is proper form?"

Zuko whirled his head to the side to stare in horror at the small figure clothed in a deep red, silk dress, hair in a topknot with two bangs hanging about her face, and a condescending twist to the blood-red lips that mocked everything and everybody around her.

_Azula._

If she saw him now, Zuko was fairly sure that he was doomed.

His sister seemed to sense a presence watching her and she instinctively turned her head in search of the presence. By the time she locked her eyes on Zuko's position, however, he was already running away and pushing himself through the crowd. He distantly heard his companion's shout for him to wait but he ignored it; right now, Azula was his main concern.

_Oh, Agni. _This _was_ a stupid idea. Zuko had no doubt that she was chasing after him now. Azula had impeccable instinct and he was fairly sure that she would decide to chase the retreating figure. Why would somebody run when they had nothing to run from? She would leap at the chance of a hunt for that was what she thrived upon. Zuko ran like the Water Spirits themselves were after him. If he could just find some bend, some way to get her off his tail!

In his desperation, he tripped on one of the street stands and fell face-first into one the vendor.

"I'm so sorry!" Zuko gasped out. He wanted nothing more than to help the poor man back up but he couldn't allow Azula to catch up. "I really am!" He stood up and prepared to run again only to instinctively flinch and catch whatever the irate vendor had tossed at him. "I'm sorry!"

And he was running again, away from the festive music, away from the bright lights that kept away the darkness, away from the smiles and the laughter and the carefree attitudes that had been so comforting moments before. It was only when he had finally snuck back into the palace and into his chambers that Zuko finally allowed his heart to stop beating a million times a second and the terror of his sister's terrible glee upon catching him to dissipate.

Zuko bitterly grit his teeth. What a fool he was. Of course he couldn't live that life, that life of a normal child out there. It was nice for a little while but he had to face reality. He wasn't like the rest of them. He couldn't afford to be like the rest of them.

The thought made him want to cry.

But he had had enough of crying. He had cried when Lu Ten died. He had cried when his mother left. He had cried when he had failed to perform for his father. It was about time he stopped wasting time weeping and more time focusing on what he had to do. In many ways, focusing on his duties was the only way to stop the grief that he wanted to succumb to.

Zuko moved to change into his sleeping gown when he realized that he was still holding whatever the vendor had thrown at him in anger. He curiously looked down and stared into the blank eyes of a well-carved and simply painted mask.

How fitting that he would end up with the one character with the one tragic ending in a play of happy endings.

Maybe that was why the Blue Spirit had always been Zuko's favorite character.

* * *

**Again, I am really really sorry for the update slowness. It's ridiculous how slow that took me. But in all honesty, I wanted to rewrite some of my plans (plus I got major writers block). But hopefully now I'll be updating more often. **

**Till next time!**


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